你的清醒就像一把刀环绕在我身边 ... 让我的心没有规律地跳 ... 害怕几时它会往我插进去 ...

~verY veRy tiRed...~

2010-08-15T17:46:00.000-07:00

Monday 16th August 2010

juz reach office...& intend to blog...im so tired...yawnsss....
i feel so stress up...
trying to get rip of certain stuffs...certain memories...
im back to avoiding...the problems...
i feel sick...& tired of everything...
i dont wanna think about anything that make me unhappy...
but why! why do it keep coming back!
i just want to be who i am! why!
is it so hard to be back to my self?
im still trying to be back to my old self...

Avon!
ive tried so hard to 4get u...i really am!
trying so hard to let u go...
do u know that!
but it seems that i cant...
the thoughts of u...still there...
i admit! mssing u!

Love! im truely sorrie...but i really hope u can understand, sticking to u, wanna love u more...but i know to u doesnt mean anything...but u meant alot to me...without u, days just went wrong, love u! some 1 use to tell me telling the person u love, to say the three words out before it's too late...is true...don't regret...ive regreted...so love, hehe...don't regret yah?

2day's quote: you lies in my heart, my body, my soul!

Written by: Wan Si

on [16/8/10] {Mon} @9.24am

2010-07-26T20:10:00.000-07:00

Tuesday 27th July 2010

whole body aching...so sleepy...later on have lesson...2molo's dad's bdae...2 more days to our 1 month...love love love...10z for being by my side...& also your care matters more den anything.

Avon!

每一次想你，都感觉心痛！

而这种痛我不知道何时才是个尽头？

我不知道我还会思念你多久，爱你多久？

没有人可以告诉我，也没有人可以决定自己！

我任性，是我在放纵自己的感情，

我颓废，是我在折磨自己的身心，

我惩罚，惩罚这份不应该存在的爱情！

累了吗？多少次我在问自己，也同时在问你！

爱，是应该继续？还是应该结束？

或许早应该结束，并且是彻底的结束！

眼泪可以无声，爱的消逝也能如此的洒脱吗？

风停了，云也停了，爱你的心可以在这一刻也停下来吗？可以吗？

我苦苦的问你，你却无声的把头扭到一边。

默默地陪着你走了好长的一段路程。一路上，

我们有过太多太多的欢笑、感动、伤心和眼泪。知道吗？

我一直感到害怕，我不知道自己还需要陪伴你走多长的路，

我只晓得牵着你的手，一直往前走！

我不知道前面的路是曲折的还是平坦的，

我不知道你还是否需要我的牵挂，还是否需要我陪着你。

在你的无声中，我似乎看到了一个结局。

难道是时候别离？

分手很痛，我害怕别离，一直都害怕！

曾经我在你的眼中寻找到了勇气，

但这一刻我却发觉，勇气已经在岁月中无声的消失了！

我发觉自己再也没有太多的勇气去接受你，接受彼此之间的爱情。

是你的错还是我的错，我想都不重要了。

一直以来，我们的感情都是一种奢望，一种永远没有结局的期望！

在你的眼中，感情可以是虚假的，

因为我给了你一个美丽的现实，给了你无数的冲动，无数的期盼。

当我发觉我全身心去投入这个梦的时候，你却在极力让自己躲藏。

于是，我看到自己无助的眼神，更看到了我的压抑和痛苦！

我恨，恨你的不完美，恨你给了我一个希望，又给了我破碎！

你在我的面前渐渐地变得模糊起来，因为你的眼中充满了伤心的泪水。

如果我的爱给予你快乐，那么请你将永远铭记这份快乐；

如果我的爱给予你痛苦，也请你记住生命中有这么一个人给予你这份痛楚；

如果我的爱给予你无尽的伤痕，那么也请你记住给过你伤痕的这个人，可以吗？

如果可以选择，我宁可不去认识你，不愿意让自己爱上你，更不愿意给予你伤痕！

我在苦痛中挣扎，我在苦痛中放纵着你的一切一切，我知道这是你对我的惩罚。

此刻，再也感受不到我在你心目中的地位，也再也感受不到你深切的眼神和那份执着的爱。

我不知道对于这样的一个你，我最终得到的是什么？

难道也是一份说不出的伤痛吗？

寂寞的夜里，再次叩心自问：“我真的爱你吗？”“你也真的爱我吗？”

没有人可以回答我。

宁静的夜，给我增添了一份孤独，一份寂寞！

那么，我只要让自己独自一个人再次去享受这份孤独，

这份寂寞，这份宁静。仿佛你的声音在耳边响起，

仿佛你在我身边的亲切。

当我想在黑夜中寻找你身影的时候，才发觉你如空气一般。

我捉不住你，如同你捉不住我那颗跳动着，却摇摇晃晃的心！

你看不到我内心所承受的痛苦，同样看不到我内心也有一道伤痕。

再也没有人为我点上一盏心灯，再也没有人可以真正去读懂我内心的忧伤。

梦的确很美，我却总是在梦境里与你相随。

我知道我已经从你的梦境中走了出来，而你的梦中人也将永远不再是我，

于是一种伤感、一种痛由然而生。

爱，不能说痛，

我只好忍着不说；但泪可以不让它掉下来吗？

不可以，因为此时我早已是泪流满面。

我不知道我需要多长的时间才可以真正的把你忘记，

我不知道我还是否有想你的勇气。

但是，我知道我的这份爱，

这份心痛，将会陪伴我一段很长很长的日子。

Love!

*在乎妳，我会在意妳吃得饱不饱、睡得好不好。

*在乎妳，我会在意妳不懂得分配时间，总是让我操心。

*在乎妳，我会在意妳心里有没有我。

*在乎妳，我会在意我身边的人是否影响了妳的生活。

*在乎妳，我会在意妳的心情好不好。

*在乎妳，我会在意妳会否因为我说了一句无意伤害的话而感到闷闷不乐、心情受到影响。

*在乎妳，我会在意妳的身体健不健康、水喝得够不够，甚至还会唠叨为什么不好好照顾身子。

*在乎妳，我会在意妳有没有想我。

*在乎妳，我会在意妳到底把我放在第几位。

*在乎妳，我会陪妳一起开心、一起不开心、一起烦恼、一起微笑。

*在乎妳，我会睡前想着妳，看着妳的照片然后自己傻笑，之后才甜甜蜜蜜地睡觉。

*在乎妳，我会希望自己能帮妳扛下所有的不开心烦恼，不让妳伤心难过，而希望伤心难过的是我。 *在乎妳，我会为妳付出，即使没有回报、即使妳没有很在意、即使是很愚蠢的行为，我也觉得值得。 *在乎妳，我会希望把时间都給妳，即使妳嫌我太黏了，但我还是希望自己的时间都是属于妳的。

*在乎妳，我会希望天天給妳惊喜，即使不是惊喜，也希望看到一个少于1秒的微笑，因为至少妳了。 *在乎妳，我会为妳祷告，希望妳一切顺利、天天开心。

*在乎妳，我会为妳偷偷地哭泣，又不希望知道。

*在乎妳，我会希望对妳说‘我爱妳’。

*在乎妳，我会学习到期待。在乎妳，我会学习到包容妳。

*在乎妳，我会学习到眼泪是因为太爱妳而流下。

*在乎妳，我会学习到‘只要妳开心，自己受点苦有有什么关系呢？’。

*在乎妳，我会学习到爱妳是真的需要勇气、毅力、努力与付出。

*在乎妳，我会很在乎妳。 *在乎妳，我爱妳很爱妳~宝贝。

2dae's quote: life is like a dice, u will never know what happen next

Written By: Wan Si

on [27/7/10] {Tue} @ 11.50am

~staYing beSide u...~

2010-07-13T18:36:00.000-07:00

Wednesday 14th July 2010

有时候，莫名的心情不好，不想和任何人说话，只想一个人静静的发呆　　　　
有时候，突然觉得心情烦躁，看什么都觉得不舒服，心里闷的发慌，拼命想寻找一个出口。
有时候，发现身边的人都不了解自己，面对着身边的人，突然觉得说不出话。
有时候，感觉自己与世界格格不入，曾经一直坚持的东西一夜间面目全非。　　　　
有时候，突然很想逃离现在的生活，想不顾一切收拾自己简单的行李去流浪。
有时候，别人突然对你说，我觉得你变了，然后自己开始百感交集。　　　　
有时候，希望时间为自己停下，做完己还没来得及做的事情。　　　　
有时候，想一个人躲起来脆弱，不愿别人看到自己的伤口。　　　　
有时候，突然很想哭，却难过的哭不出来。　
有时候，夜深人静，突然觉得不是睡不着，而是固执地不想睡。　
有时候，走过熟悉的街角，看到熟悉的背影，突然就想起一个人的脸。
有时候，明明自己心里有很多话要说，却不知道怎表达。　　　　
有时候，觉得自己拥有着整个世界，一瞬间却又觉得自己其实一无所有。
真的只是有时候，明明自己身边很多朋友，却依然觉得孤单。　　　　
有时候，很想放纵自己，希望自己痛痛快快歇斯底里地发一次疯。　　　　
有时候，突然找不到自己，把自己丢的无影无踪。
有时候，心里突然冒出一种厌倦的情绪，觉得自己很累很累。　　　　
有时候，看不到自己未来的样子，迷茫的不知所措。　　　　
有时候，发现自己一夜之间长大了。　　　　
有时候，听到一首歌，就会突然想起一个人。　　　　
有时候，希望能找个人好好疼爱自己，渴望一种安全感。可当那个可以疼你的人出现的时候，
你却偏执地退隐。　　　　
有时候，别人误解了自己有口无心的一句话，心里郁闷的发慌。　　　　
有时候，被别人伤害，嘴上讲没事，其实心里难过的要死。　　　　
有时候，常常在回忆里挣扎，有很多过去无法释怀。　　　　
有时候，很容易感动别人的关怀，有时候却麻木地像个笨蛋。　　　　
有时候，看着时间一点点流逝，任凭叹息，自己却无能为力。　　　　
其实，有时候，真的会想这么多。　　　　
跟朋友装沉默，跟陌生人讲心里话。对于在乎你的，不想让Ta们担心，
有时候，没有消息就是一种好消息。
其实，很想说“我很好”，
或许是昧着心说谎，也只是想把最灿烂的一面，放在每个人对自己印象的首页。　　　　
丢了的自己，要记得捡回来……

Love Love, 10z for being by my side...after that breakup
u are always be my darling, my baby...your warm hug tenders me
i never expect you being with me...after your rejection...
we will walk thru obstacles together all right?
i will never leave u , never will i give up on u again...

2dae's quote: I would rather walk with God in the dark than go alone in the light

Written by: Wan Si
[14/7/10] {Wed} @10.24am

~let mE be thE 1...will u?~

2010-07-05T02:36:00.000-07:00

Monday 5th July 2010

让我照顾你-张芸京

你一个人失了魂清晨哭到夜深
不要别人问我不出声一直等
听你说你心疼当时好傻好天真
如果可以我愿意
这样陪你到永恒

让我照顾你
面对再大的风雨
也能微笑做自己像个孩子躺在我怀里
让我照顾你
在这荒芜世界里就算有新的剧情
在明天等着你然而在你最需要的此刻
请让我照顾你

总有一天会有人一个懂你的人
让你从此不心疼
如果可以我愿意
这样陪你到永恒
让我照顾你
面对再大的风雨也能微笑做自己
像个孩子躺在我怀里
让我照顾你在这荒芜世界里
就算有新的剧情在明天等着你
然而在你最需要的此刻
请让我照顾你

你看破了虚伪拆穿爱的假面
後悔曾经为他付出一切
喔我会在你身边
当你伤心欲绝不奢望你偶然垂怜
喔让我照顾你
面对再大的风雨也能微笑做自己
像个孩子躺在我怀里
让我照顾你
在这荒芜世界里
就算有新的剧情在明天等着你
当你对这世界失去信任
请让我照顾你

2dae's quote: 爱情不是单靠一个人来维持的，要两个人彼此付出，爱情才会长久…

Written by: Wan SI
[05/07/2010] {Mon} @5.52pm

~EsKi BaR...cOoOllll!~

2010-05-01T10:34:00.000-07:00

Saturday 1st May 2010

Tuesday- went for 1st lesson in sch...was late...was on the bus on the way hm after lesson...kind of tired, got a call from Leticia den went to toc ca mie (dunno correct spelling...lol) it's the 2nd time went over dere...wif JH , Pat, Leticia & others...shall not mention wad happen during the 1st time...i was wrong! Very sorrie! After that we proceed to a Gay Pub...

Friday-went out with sis & her bf for steamboat at Suntec...reach hm got a call from ChunTing / Daniel...& we wanted 2 go for a drink, din know which pub to go...we walk walk walk & came across dis Bar called Eski Bar at Boat Quey...was freaking cold! But love the atmosphere. After the drink, we went to see the scenery near the bridge...i was quiet thru the whole nite...my tears dropped..that pain is back...i cant seem to let certain tings go...i miss u...really miss u so much...wish u will dere hugging me...memories with u...shouldnt it 4gotten?

2dae's Quote: you are special in some ways

Written By: Wan Si
on 1/5/10 {Sat} @ 1.59am

~shOw Me...~

2010-04-14T18:07:00.000-07:00

Thursday 15th April 2010

2dae will the last day in dis company..i nv know...i was like nv a part in this company at all...mitting JH for lunch later on...yeah! shall i go wif JH n her frenz for clubbing 2nite...? so eager to see her...after dat i shall go walk walk den go fetch *love* from work...read the blog of lulu, is the same story of mine...hais... *love* again u hurts me wif ur words...

2dae's quote: u always be a part me!

Written By: Wan Si
on [15/04/10] {Thurs} @ 9.18am

~Sore eyE!~

2010-04-11T18:45:00.000-07:00

Monday 12th April 2010

Sore eye! or is juz tired eyes? pain! i haf to declare dat moi heart is OFFICIALLY DEAD! whahaha...nothing seems matter 2 me anymore! she is so...wad can i say! we are juz like...nebermind, it's over! gif me a yr i will 4get u! i dunno y a yr!

2dae;s quote: speechless!

Written By: Wan Si
on [12/04/10] {Mon} @ 10.13am

~Y haBen repLy...~

2010-04-06T01:03:00.001-07:00

Tuesday 6th April 2010

Listening to 88.3fm nw...currently playing NI YI DI YAO BI WO XIN FU! listening to the DJ telling the story of a person...moi tear drops...BU SHI WO BU MING BAI! every single words...thoughts of her..u left me in a deep pain! waiting for your reply, love & since i got nothing 2 do at work...i shall blog...haha see previous blogs all written on tuesday...y arh???? *wondering* nothing much to blog actually...juz bored! put up sum arts i saw in the net... cool! love it! i will b dere 4 u as for nw..

2dae's quote: i gave you everything but it wasnt enough to make you stay

Written By: Wan Si

on [06/04/10] {Tue} @ 5.10pm

~diSsapoinTmenT!~

2010-03-29T19:45:00.000-07:00

Tuesday 30th March 2010

dad, i really hate u, i dunno y...i juz had dis feeling 2wards u...i dun feel been loved by u...but afterall u r moi dad.i want peace..cant i haf it? i really had enuff of u! i want freedom! i dun haf to report 2 u! y u 1 to force me to tell u everything! u want me to change! u should haf a nice tok wif me since 15 yrs back! trust is not even dere! plz plz! jet let me off! venting ur anger, throwing temper! cant u juz stop it! it makes me more frustated & irritated! the more i dun wanna tok 2 u at all!

30th marks the special day when ive known the 1 dat melts moi heart...2 yrs past...&
so fast...2molo's the 31st! if we are still 2gether, we will b 2gether for a yr...but nevertheless..
i nv know dat u r dis kind of ger...im disspointed & really sad! wad makes me like u?
i tell u moi sickness, yup im not healthy, cant b urs...
& yet u mind...mind so much abt me
i dun expect anything, juz wish u'll stays by moi side
im not a nice ger as wad u tinks
mayb u r right,
& i still wanna say im not worthy 4 u
u wrk night shift, moi heart pains. u knows i care but wads the use?

2dae's quote: Even when I pour my heart out to you, I'm not sure it shows, that I love you more than you'll ever know.

Written By: Wan Si on [30/03/10] {Tues} @ 11.30am

~thiS timE roUnd...~

2010-03-28T19:25:00.000-07:00

Monday 29th March 2010

This morning when i woke up, my heart felt SO HEAVY! A SHARP PAIN! the sadness which i cant even imagine! the cries! the mood when i was walking to my office..
finally, ive got i owaes wanted which means so much 2 me! i totally hate this feeling! i nv felt b4!
a job, a career, an interest, a hobby, a hope...dere's so much joy in it, it's gone at once...
no more motivation in life...i feel like giving up on everything once again...
is dere any1 who can understand me?
believe me, those chi words i wrote in sms 2 u...ish the truth from moi heart...u r worth...

2dae's quote: i wanna get lost from my life sometimes, sit on the side and watch the world go by, I wanna get lost and I don't know why

Written By: Wan Si
on [29/03/10] {Mon} @ 10.55am

~rainiNg heaviLy...~

2010-03-22T18:40:00.000-07:00

Tuesday 23rd March 2010

so long since i last blog......in office doin nth nw, surfing net onli, looking at different designs of houses, & waiting for their sms ...juz let the music heal moi soul....
i miss u deeply! i do!
hw haf u been? hw he treat u? did u take proper meals?
hw's ur toothache? is it still painful? u sick, did u go @@ doc? did u drink water & milk?
moi heart ish still so hurt! it's been 3 months
was tinking how to pay for moi upcoming sch fees, etc. not really feeling well again, still not recovered. was sick last 2 weeks ago.
met sum1 new in moi life last week,
will u ever cover the pains?
heal moi wounds?
take the darkness away in me?
i choosen u in the end...wad makes me chose u?

2dae's quote: look at the cross, it resembles love

Written By: Wan Si
on [23/3/10] {Tue} @10.02am

~Juz A fOol!~

2010-01-14T21:07:00.000-08:00

Friday 15th January 2010 it's oleadi 2010 & yes y do i still haf 2 tink of the past? i miss u darling! i really do! i wanna let u go...there's no more tears...i dunno wad 2 sae...u juz simply take me as a toy...indeed, i feel hurt! i feel sad! heartbroken! but u are no longer here animore! i cant bring moiself 2 hate u! but i love u more den usual! if u 1 to hate me 4 wad i did 2 harm moiself den go ahead! if u do love me, y do u haf 2 bring in the 3rd party in the 1st place n hurt me again n again! jolly well, u changed so am i! do u realli tink abt moi feelings? and wads ur ans NO 2 everyting i've said...i feel dissapointed! dis is for our own gd? doesnt believe wad i said...u can delete everyting , erase me from ur memory! Aniwae, going to HEIDI BAKER conference later on...Yeah! u dun nid me afterall!

2dae's quote: fragile heart, fragile mind, fragile me

Written by: Wan Si
on [15/1/2010] {Fri} @ 1.27pm

~woRst!~

2009-12-27T21:15:00.000-08:00

Monday 28th December 2009

2010 is coming & yet i still cant get over u...it's been 5 daes since our last break up...i thought u will call, u will regret or worried abt me...but no! u dun even bother abt me animore...nw im jobless, n u left me...i cant get do aniting, nth comes out of moi mind, cant tink abt aniting, cant slp well at all...headaches is getting bad to worst...im seriously in deep pains! after the trip, i thought i cant start all over, tink afresh, but no, the ting i wanted 2 do, i still cant tink of an ans 2 it....i miss u so...

2dae's quote: a death dream a silent tear

Written by: Wan Si
on [28/12/09] {Mon} @ 1.30pm

~wads truE luv 2 mE!~

2009-12-25T00:31:00.000-08:00

Friday 25th December 2009

Merry Xmas every1!
林宥嘉 - 说谎

是有过几个不错对象
说起来并不寂寞孤单
可能我浪荡让人家不安
才会结果都指望

我没有什么阴影魔障
你千万不要放在心上
我又不脆弱何况那算什么伤
反正爱情不就都这样

我没有说谎我何必说谎
你懂我的我对你从来就不会假装
我哪有说谎
请别以为你有多难忘
消失真的不是我逞强

我好久没来这间餐厅
没想到已经换了装潢
角落那窗口闻的到玫瑰花香
被你一说是有些印象

我没有说谎我何必说谎
你知道的我缺点之一就是很健忘
我哪有说谎
是很感谢今晚的相伴
但我竟然有些不习惯

我没有说谎我何必说谎
爱一个人没爱到难道就会怎么样
别说我说谎
人生已经如此的艰难
有些事情就不要拆穿

我没有说谎是爱情说谎
它带你来骗我说可我没有可能有希望
我没有说谎
祝你做个幸福的新娘
我的心事请你全遗忘

2dae's quote: no strength, do whatever you want

Written By: Wan Si
on [25/12/09] {Fri} @ 4.33pm

~aS uSual...~

2009-12-21T07:51:00.000-08:00

Monday 21st December 2009

moi bdae are'nt happy at all as i xpected...happy bdae moi dear Kester boi (cousin)! quarrel wif darling over the 2 pple i hate...nw dat sum1 ish bringing her hm frm wrk...im nearby outside her place using the interner...im in KL aniwae...i dunno wad i mean 2 u sumtimes...u xpect me 2 go hm 2dae asap...is dis the wae in want me 2 leave u...? u sae dunno hw 2 ans moi ques...means i was nv in ur heart...im nothing 2 u...our relationship doesnt mean aniting? cant u juz stand in moi shoes n tink? u sae u want me 2 go, u r not worth...haix...i simply got no moos 2 write down animore...moi hear ish bleeding once again...dis time really cant stop animore...where r u nw? i juz called u, n u sae u are waiting 4 him...ish out trust still dere? u sae u dun mean 2 hurt me...want me 2 stay happy during moi stay...after dat everyting will b alrite? do u tink so? do u really tink i 1 u 2 go for a new life n be wif him?

2dae's quote: remember that i love you once & forever

Written by: Wan Si
on [21/12/09] {Mon} @12.04am

~ a hAir cUt...~

2009-12-09T03:58:00.000-08:00

Wednesday 9th December 2009 2 more daes to moi bdae...cant wait 2 @@ darling 2molo...i feel happy as well as sad...sad as in...haix...aniwae, went downstairs for a haircut...at 3.30pm choose colour + hairstyle for 30mins...in the end, end up same colour (highlight + base) dye for an hr...den cut moi hair another hr...lucky i nv breach, haf 2 wait for another hr...not used 2 so short...lols...goin to watch 2012 at 9.30pm...

2daes's quote: Let time wash away the memories i had with you

Written by: Wan Si
on 09/12/09] {Wed} @8.11pm

~ranDom!~

2009-12-02T22:09:00.000-08:00

Thursday 3rd December 2009

8 days left to moi bdae...still rem 2 yrs of ago during moi bdae...our past...
when i thiught of dat scene dats hurts me so much...
this song reminds me of u...

萧敬腾 - 爱过了头

当你哭着对我说你对不起我
原来你和他不只是好朋友
为你打造的王国禁不起诱惑
你装作我会原谅你的选择
谁能够预知的结果
爱从左胸口出走
爱过了头我一个人狂奔怒吼
我没有哭却让汗水给吞没
爱过了头离了出口就只能放手
我给你自由为什么我双手却在颤抖
你说他比我幽默比我懂生活
你喜欢享受刺激胜过温柔
爱应该尽情挥霍我有胆承受
哪怕会让人堕落也胜过没爱过
像只困兽舔着伤口的活着
爱过了头没了出口就只能割舍
我给你自由为什么我的心却在颤抖
别问我能不能够
像只野兽舔着伤口的活着
我没有难过只是爱你比你爱我更多

2dae's quote: let go of the past & move on

Written By: Wan Si
on [3/11/09] @ 2.18pm

~nothinG is Impossible!~

2009-11-29T06:14:00.000-08:00

Sunday 29th November 2009

after so many skins changed, i still prefer dis...whahaha
went to Farimount Hotel on fri at Bras Braseh Hotel to celebrate moi secondary sch fren's wedding on upcoming...we hold a party 4 her...i din really enjoy n i cried...details i dun wish 2 sae...but i feel happpy for her...really...din tok 2 darling dis 2 daes, she was kind of tired...i tink im starting 2 not used 2 haf u around...u are bz wrking...love u more each dae...
had a tok ytd wif moi cell leader (Joseph) , i did cry...crybaby...lols...after sat service...we went 4 dinner as a cell as usual...after dat went to tea/coffee section wif Joseph, Darryl, & his gf (Stephanie), i guess the cell noes moi probs...they had a nice tok 2 mie...i feel comfort...10z to dem lotsa...had their support...i guess i haf 2 take more iron to improve on moi health...

2dae's quote: u can do it!

Written By: Wan Si
on [29/11/09] @ 10.33pm

~sO muCh of waNting 2 kisS u in The rAin...~

2009-11-25T06:22:00.000-08:00

Wednesday 25th November 2009

i tink im back to the routine 2 blog...
y cant i remember a single ting?
y cant i see clearly?
who will ever know im crying in the rain? can the rain wash away moi tears & pains?
moi secondary sch fren is getting married...& how about me? nothing!
i feel so useless!
Darling, is not dat i dun wanna go checkup...seriously im afraid! afraid of ge
tting a negative ans, not dat i tink too much...im afraid 2 die earlier...as i haf not done alot of tings...im afraid i cant @@ u animore if i dun @@ u now...im afraid of dying, which i pretend dat im not afraid...i wanna juz die in ur arms...im afraid of leaving moi loved ones...moi grandma...

2dae's quote: The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences and mistakes and still sees the best in you.

Written By: Wan Si
on [25/11/09] {Wed} @ 10.34pm

~a Part oF me waS loSt!~

2009-11-24T05:39:00.000-08:00

Tuesday 24th November 2009

齐秦 - 我拿什么爱你

我闭上眼睛瞎了往后半生
如果我失去了你
看见的不过是幻影
所幸我还有你结束了盲目追寻
象落叶遇见了风
才知爱原来是飘零
孤独了半生竟会想要安定
不肯受困的灵魂
关进你凄迷的眼神
曾经让你伤心从此不相信爱情
当你重回我怀里
竟会颤抖个不停
我该拿什么去爱你
拿我破碎了千万次的心
我以为我爱你却一再伤害你
越拥抱越叫人不能呼吸
要我拿什么去爱你
拿我苦过的痛过的决定
我空了的双手我好想再拥有
昨天的温柔都是被我给夺走
孤独了半生竟会想要安定
不肯受困的灵魂
关进你凄迷的眼神
曾经让你伤心从此不相信爱情
当你重回我怀里
竟会颤抖个不停
我该拿什么去爱你
拿我破碎了千万次的心
我以为我爱你却一再伤害你
越拥抱越叫人不能呼吸
要我拿什么去爱你
我空了的双手我好想再拥有
昨天的温柔都是被我给夺走
我该拿什么去爱你
拿我破碎了千万次的心
我以为我爱你却一再伤害你
越拥抱越叫人不能呼吸
要我拿什么去爱你
拿我苦过的痛过的决定
我空了的双手我好想再拥有
昨天的温柔都是被我给夺走

2dae's quote: i'm feeling reckless, depressed!

Written by: Wan Si
on [24/11/09] @ 9.45pm

~BaD moOd!~

2009-11-23T04:54:00.000-08:00

Monday 23th November 2009

im in a foul mood!
im dead!
im lost!
i nid a break!
pls dun ask me why!
i had enuff!
independent?
who was dere when i nid support!
who was dere when i nid a hug!
who was dere when i nid a shoulder 2 lean & cry on!
noone! im tired! seriously!
wad care! wad love! all rubbish! really dere?
i wont listen animore!
tears! pains! sorrows!
i hide! y?
do u all ever understand!
gif me many chances?
nw u may 1 2 gif another chance?
who do u tink i am?
no1 wants?

2dae's quote: Not everything goes your way!

Written by: Wan Si
on [23/11/09] {Mon} @ 9pm

~hanGovEr!~

2009-11-18T22:07:00.000-08:00

Thursday 19th November 2009

Happy bdae 2 moi youngest sis...i was drunk ytd...i dunno wad im doin...many tings went thru moi mind all of a sudden...the thought of u kip appearing...ur name, the memories...i wanted so much 2 4get abt u...i thought i could...but still i din make it...my head is still so painful nw...knock until moi head...nearly moi eyes...i dun wish 2 rem the pasts...dear god, plz help me...it' painful...it's hurting...Darling, im sorrie it's all i could sae...everytime u sae i tink 2 much...but all dis months u've been 2gether wif mie...the quarrels...n every moment been wif mie, are u happy? im nothing...wad can i gif u? moi smile are fake...i did moi best...but still we cant understand each other...Darling, i noe we can 4get them rites? im sure we can...

张克帆 - 依然爱着你

一个人走在清晨微凉的街
想着你离我而去的双眼
你说你习惯自由不愿改变
春来秋去总是不在我的身边
告诉自己找不回从前
我却一天一天深深想念
把你的影子种在心田
只求你能了解
依然爱着你
就算你飞得再远我依然不埋怨
要你知道爱的感觉不曾走远
依然爱着你
如果你飞得疲倦请为我歇一歇
请相信我会永远守在你身边
心甘情愿

2dae's quote: i love you for who you are

Written By: Wan Si
on [19/11/09] {Thurs} @ 3.34pm

~wTh...~

2009-11-16T22:53:00.000-08:00

Tuesday 17th Nov 2009

1st i wanna thank GOD for all the tings he've done 4 me...thru obstacles u gif, i realise u r the onli 1 who i can rely on...giving me the opputunity 2 study...u noe wad i want, wad i nid in life, u noe wad im tinking which i dun...& Happy Bdae 2 moi younger sis! 21st! moi 21st i dun haf a wonderful bdae after alll...(lady boos) she's angry wif me for not informing her im not goin 2 wrk? i did sms her! like wad the...moi attitude? i haf no position 2 sae aniting...
tell me 2 rest for the whole wk...she care or is she tinking dat i dun go 2 wrk den du bother 2 cum?
i getting more n more frustrated... doc told me if the headache medicine does not wrk again...i haf 2 go for blood screening...i dunno wad im afraid off..Darling dun let me go off...hold me tightly in ur arms...counting down the daes...i dunno when can i @@ u again after dis time round...

温岚 - 刺猬

最后一抹的微笑
在转身之后
我闭上眼哭了
仅存的一点点骄傲
华丽的外表终于丢掉
很彷徨很孤单是寂寞或
悲惨一个人该怎么办

像是刺猬般防范
伪装的勇敢
不轻易让你看穿
我以为可以很坦然
面对分开时不觉得伤感
然而将灯关上一片无
声黑暗心痛的大声呼喊
我想我没那么坚强每个女孩其实一样
渴望着爱情的好渴望被拥抱
却都害怕爱让人受伤
承认我没那么坚强
不过是一而再的逞强
小心将情绪收藏比傻瓜还傻
刺猬的坚强全都是假象哭吧

像是刺猬般防范
伪装的勇敢
不轻易让你看穿
我以为可以很坦然
面对分开时不觉得伤感
然而将灯关上一片无
声黑暗心痛的大声呼喊
我想我没那么坚强每个女孩其实一样
渴望着爱情的好渴望被拥抱
却都害怕爱让人受伤
承认我没那么坚强
不过是一而再的逞强
小心将情绪收藏比傻瓜还
傻刺猬的坚强全都是假象

我想我没那么坚强每个女孩其实一样
渴望着爱情的好渴望被拥抱
却都害怕爱让人受伤
承认我没那么坚强
不过是一而再的逞强
小心将情绪收藏比傻瓜还傻
刺猬的坚强全都是假象哭吧

2dae's quote: I'm speechless

Written By: Wan Si
[17/11/09] {Tues} @ 3.10pm

~wiLL u?~

2009-10-22T20:29:00.000-07:00

Friday 23rd October 2009

shall i go cell group 2dae?
i dunno wad im waiting 4...
y am i hoping u will call me?
y am i still miss u so?
y do i miss hugging u 2 slp?
y do i still miss ur beautiful smile?
y am i still tinking of u after a yr +?
y am i waiting 4 ur sms?
y am i owaes waiting 4 u 2 online?
But...everytime when u cum online,
y do i owaes want 2 appear offline?
y do i miss those daes dat meant nothing 2 u?
y do i miss watching stars wif u?
y am i hoping 2 @@ u again?
so many y again...dat could onli kip it inside me

2dae's quote: Here i am

Written By: Wan Si on [23/10/09] @ 11.39am

~as dAys gOes bY...~

2009-10-21T04:22:00.000-07:00

Wednesday 21st Oct 2009

Juz got back from work...Im super exhausted...get scolded for nothing, stress for? i want a better job, a better life...but i dunno hw, i 1 2 do wad i can, but ish dere ani1 2 b dere 4 mie? NO! god cum back 2 moi life...plz! i dunno...y do i feel so fed up? still having flu & headaches...i dunno hw 2 carry on animore...dear god, plz help me & lift me up again...amen! i feel so pathetic 4 moiself...y do i haf such a unfilial relatives? not their mother? y are dey so selfish? hate those dat onli tink 4 demselves...even moi father too...pride? u do wrong tings, dun nid 2 sae sorrie? ive learn 2 sae sorrie...sumtimes i wish im wasn't born...pple sae im lucky better den others...but i dun tink so...y? my chest is aching up again...a sudden pain from noowhere...i haf no strength at all..n half of moi body feels so numb all of a sudden...if im a atm, i can help u all but im not! i willl prove 2 every1 dat i can do it (studies)...hw? anger, frustrations, sadness, depressions all at a go once again...darling, i nid u...where r u? i dunno wad happened 2 us dis 2 daes...as moi heart yearns so much 4 ur love...missing u so much nw...

To Watch You Leaving . . .

is to know such pain, it's jagged edges tearing into my soul. As a stake from the garden tears into the warm, dark earth.

To Watch You Leaving . . .

knowing all the while that never again will I fit myself, warm with sleep, against your solid back.

Nor hear your steady breathing. Or feel the beating of your heart.

To Watch You Leaving . . .

aware in every moment of every day that my dreams, my future; once tied with silken ribbons to yours, will never come to be.

And the mornings once so silent and hopeful, us gazing at the mountains and so gently awaiting forever - are now but small pieces of my past.

To Watch You Leaving . . .

your heart a tight fist of anger and your dry eyes betraying nothing of you. I cry for both of us, my love, because you will not.

To Watch You Leaving . . .

is to know that I've lost my place on this earth. My station. My heart's home. That I will wander, forever a nomad. Alone and afraid. And in my troubled dreams watch you leave, again and again.

For the balance of my days.

2dae's quote: you are my potion, my deliverance, my shelter, my strong tower

Written By: Wan Si
on [21/10/09] {Wed} @ 7.44pm

~siCkkK...~

2009-10-18T00:16:00.000-07:00

Sunday 18th October 2009

having sum quarrels wif darling, sum times i juz dunno wad am i doin...im sry...sorted out...darling i miss u alot...wish u are here wif me...each time i left u, i wanna hold u tightly in moi arms & nv let u go, each time we haf 2 sae gdbye, i wanna kiss u...
goshhh...my flu is not getting any better....it's been 2 wks oleadi...fever kip goin up and down , nw even sore eyes...slight cough better, sore throat better at least...im seriously getting tired of my working daes at dat wrking place...it's getting me no where...bought a mp3 which i dun realli like...haix...ask moi zone leader wad shall i do again...he told me 2 persuade wad i like 2 do...go 4 it...ive decided 2 take up the course and start by investing moiself wif books on design...
times i try 2 let u go
times i try 2 get u out my mind

2dae's quote: create things to happen

written by: wan si
on [18/10/09] {Sun} @ 3.28pm

~Im a noBody 2 u...~

2009-09-28T06:14:00.000-07:00

Monday 28th September 2009

life is beautiful isnt it? y mine is so complicated? Im juz a normal gurl...i dunno wad am im doin? wad i want? im not young? am i really moving on? or am i juz avoiding everyting? im turning back...i felt so useless...brainless...? i juz living as a dead or robot every dae...im starting 2 get emotional again...wad do i live 4? y do i 1 2 learn guitar? to worship god? or? i dunno hw 2 ans...shaggGss!
wad should i do? im trying to get all moi sins away....will i repent? i cant even ans? im sorrie lord, yes lord yes lord yes lord yes yes lord, im truely sorrie am? i ask 4 ur 4gifness again & again but u nv leave me alone...my life is in your hands...u love me like noone else had
10z for been dere when im sick...enjoy every moments wif u...we had quarrel on the last nite when im goin back the nx morning...had a bad fall...im sorrie 2 make u worry again...i'll try 2 bcareful nx time...im juz so clumsy at all times...

dis song is 4 u:

陶喆 - 暗恋

告诉自己要冷静却又无法不想你
我的懦弱已经开始让我讨厌我自己
是你对我有戒心还是我没有自信
可是谁也不能阻止我我要暗恋你
so lonely

so here I am ,standing all alone
在某个街头有个我在这里只为你等候
here I am waitting just for you
开放我所有希望你能了解你能够接受我
so lonely

尽管渴望再见你虽然只是在梦里
短暂的甜蜜已胜过了一辈子没有你
就算没快乐结局就算从此死了心
我要付出我所有珍妮只要能感动你
我愿意我愿意

so here I am ,standing all alone
在某个街头有个我在这里只为你等候
here I am ,waitting just for you
开放我所有 ,我要为你怎么做你才接受
oh~(怎么才接受)
我喜欢我要你我爱你(我喜欢我要你我爱你)

so here I am , standing all alone
在某个街头有个我在这里只为你等候
so here I am ,waitting just for you
开放我所有希望你能了解你能够接受我
I am lonely

故事就说到这里就算你们再好奇
我想说的都已说完了其余是秘密
在那某一个街头会流传某个旋律
那是我在轻轻唱着歌多爱你珍妮

2dae's quote: time is like a river, you cannot touch the same water twice because the flow that has passed will never pass again

Written By: Wan Si
on [28/09/09] {Mon} @ 9.18pm

~tHe mOment...~

2009-08-04T19:26:00.000-07:00

Wednesday 5th August 2009

y Do i feel that our love is slowly fading?
1 more dae 2 mit u at dere
pple sae i do not noe u well y do i still go?
nowadays i can hardly breathe...
moi grandma is in hospital nw...
im worried
i nid 2 take a break
a short trip
seems im getting away from god...
god, lift me up...i nid u more

许飞 - 我要的飞翔

天气,冷暖不确定
每个人都在人海里
相遇,总是没道理
弄错后,轻轻说对不起
没关系,不论失去了什么
都没痕迹
每一次,让泪水流回心
去灌溉梦想开出奇迹
我要的坚强,不是谁的肩膀
怀抱是个不能停留的地方
这世界多拥挤,就有多匆忙
用所有的寂寞时光给自己鼓掌
我要的飞翔,不是借双翅膀
自由是个不能代替的远方

~dUn feeL likE goIn 2 wOrk at aLL!~

2009-07-21T23:42:00.000-07:00

Wednesday 22th July 2009

Nothing much 2dae...ytd i had a bad afternoon...i was extrembly down & sad...it spoilt my whole dae...haix...dun really wanna mention wad happen @t wrk...sqeeuze moi pimple...colleagues ask me i fight wif pple? y my forehead so red? hahaha...Darling, im sorrie i dun wanna let u worry so i din tell u wad happen...i wanna turn moi hp 4 the whole nite actually...but instead u r more worried...i feel betta after toking 2 u on fone...othough i try 2 put an act...u still noe...

2dae's quote: whisper of the winds & chipping sound of the birds

Written By: Wan Si [22/7/09] {Wed} @ 3.02pm

~feeL likE cryiNg oUt...~

2009-07-19T20:07:00.000-07:00

Monday 20th July 2009

Lynn...i believe u are not dis type of person...if u tell me u are not...tried calling u but u r still the same...i dun 1 2 hear the rumours abt u...do u noe dat? (Him) y does moi heart bleed? when i heard dat u r attached...darling...i do love you but we can nv b 2gether...i miss u like crazy...want u near 2 me...kiss n hug u 2 slp...god does not approve of us...i dun 1 2 turn back against him...sooriee...im deeply hurt...moi 1st choice is still god...y i feel so frustrated, anger & hatred? i feek like venting out moi anger, shout out 2 the sea, crying in the rain...i dun feel gd at all! My condition are getting bad...i nid 2 be alone once again

2dae's quote: I would use my last breath to tell you I LOVE YOU

Written By: Wan Si
[20/07/09] {Mon} @ 11.45pm

~juSt anothEr daY...~

2009-07-15T19:59:00.000-07:00

Thursday 16th July 2009

Shall i trim moi hair? Shaggg...early in the morning quarrel wif dae over dat issue again...im getting exhausted wif my life oleadi...i hate moi life...having stress n depression lately...having hard breathing nw...later goin over 2 Herballife again...sprain moi hand & leg , hit till moi hand, sumtimes, y do i still haf 2nd thought? Darling, i noe ive got 2 trust u...but we r so far...i nv noe wad u'r doin? am i tinking 2 much? mayb moi love 2 u still not strong enuff? To Krinze, u sae dat u've change, but u r still the same...even reply a msg from u or call? when i nid u, where r u? should i believe your words again? u 1 me back...i dunno...im confused...is hard 4 me 2 love u again...for moi mind, hart, & soul...dere's sum1 out dere...tata gone 4 lunch

2dae's quote: your voices is all i could hear

Written By: Wan Si
[16/07/09] {Thurs} @ 12.15pm

~a sHocking neWs i nV xpeCt...~

2009-07-05T19:31:00.000-07:00

Monday 6th July 2009

woke up by a sms by joseph, moi cell leader...ytd abt 1pm...i was shocked...saeing dat jiayee (his wife)...gt bleeding & treatened miscarrige...i cant continue moi slp after dat...on sat, she was still fine...she thought me guitar & dey send me & him home...dear lord, i pray dat u'll @@ thru jiayee through the way, pray dat everyting...i was so worried...but i cant do aniting...told jiayee too...although she din sae aniting but i noe she doesnt 1 me go 4 it either...she dotes on me...quarrel wif parents over dat issue again...confuse state...mayb i make the wrong decision afterall...i feel so down recently...over money n other probs...darling, sumtimes i realli tink is dat trust between us...& yah, though im afraid u took the hp...n wont b back 2 me again...u tink i'll took back the hp if 1 dae we broke up? i'll nt 1 2 save a hp 4 u...even juz a 2nd hand one...i hope u will understand, moi sweetie...my love 4 u grows each dae...

2dae's quote: somewhere over the rainbow

Written By: Wan Si
on [06/07/09] {Mon} @ 11.10am

.

~it's Sat aGain...~

2009-07-03T19:07:00.000-07:00

Saturday 4th July 2009

Am i tinking 2 much again? ytd i saw him wif dat ger so close...y did i feel a sharp pain? i mit up wif qi to the herballife again on tue n thurs nite...i dis quarrel wif mum abt the issue & money again...coz she gt cheated...im such a fickle minded person...im old enuff 2 tink 4 myself...i dun 1 to get shaken again by ani other decisions made by others...lynn, i still treat u as moi ex olthough we broke up...end up we din go 2 clubbing....i was in a freaking bad mood on dat dae due 2 tings crop up @t wrk again..nw i .Baobei, ur hp! argh! im worried...ur hp spoilt....u wanna buy another 1 but i dun 1 u 2 waste money too...miss ya lots...hugzzz

2dae's quote: if i could just see you...

Written by: Wan Si
[04/07/09] {Sat} @10.40am

~wiSh u owaes b hErE~

2009-06-29T19:28:00.000-07:00

Tuesday 30th June 2009

Happy bdae mummy! it end month again...2dae, lady boss not in the gd mood again...find fault at me...haix..aniwae, went wif Qi to her company...found out is herballife...thought of investing...listening 2 dem till 11.30pm...omg...but den hard 2 get money...intend 2 try sth out...but dunno is it rite or wrong...juz try the product? tell darling..she not realli supportive abt u...got touch so easily...31st...happy anni...3 mths oleadi...wish we can stay long & 4vea... no matter hw pple look down on us...or dun 1 us 2 be 2gether...we'll will show dem we can...30 july 08...cum 2 tink abt it...is been 11 mth since i noe u...

2dae's quote: believe in yourself

Wriitten By: Wan Si
[30/06/09] on {Tue} @ 2.28pm

~waD do i 1?~

2009-06-26T21:59:00.000-07:00

Saturday 27th June 2009

A few days ago...Sum1 ask me 2 tink carefully wad i really 1...& again this ques arose in moi head again...i did noe wad i 1 but did i really apply ani of the ans i 1?

2dae's quote a road to the desire of god

Written by: Wan Si
[27//6/09] {Sat} @1.05pm

~waLking alonG the paTh...~

2009-06-22T19:51:00.000-07:00

Tuesday 23rd June 2009

while im listening 2 this song...it must been love by roxette...a memory flashed back across moi mind...i misses moi greatgradma above the heaven, i noe she love me...sumting's wrong wif moi lappie audio...sore throat...whahaha...although im sick, darling u muz oso tk care of urself alrite? drink more water...u had cough oleadi...if not oki, rem 2 go @@ doc...dun let me worry...ur health not gd oso...hopefully i can go found u soon in regardless of the H1N1 virus nw...found this song which resembles moi feelings nw...

痴心不再流行 - 刘德华

如何难过我也不会放弃
爱你从一开始早就预备
热情纵是跌倒在地流着血
我也回企起

旁人求我要我不去爱你
为何从一开始想做后备
情人已没有选择余地
我说我爱你为何硬要把我处死

痴心都不再流行恋火都不再动人
风一吹可以让承诺变微尘
为何原本都算合衬
最终主角变了这位陌路人

想好好拥抱情人身边竟充满敌人
哪里会找到刻骨铭心
给那个某君偷走你的吻
要在何日让我再次走近
我像人潮浪里中往下陆沉
走不出这烙印

2dae's quote: i'll choose be ur star along the way

Written By: Wan Si
on [23/6/09] {Tue} @12 noon

~im tiRed....!~

2009-06-19T18:55:00.000-07:00

Saturday 20th June 2009

remember the dae u turn ur head &
walk away from me
i cried infront of u
i nv knew i cant control those tears
i couldn't act strong, i thought i could
i cried under the rain
but the rain couldnt wash the tears away
i hide moiself behind the wall
i dunno y, i choose 2 remain silent
i hit moiself but u doesnt noe
im deeply hurt, im truely sorry
i couldnt 4get dat very dae
where everyting ended
ive let every1 down

2dae's quote: i'll still choose 2 remain here even if the world doesn't exist

Written By: Wan Si
on [20/6/09] @ 10.34pm

~HopEfully!~

2009-06-19T00:59:00.000-07:00

Friday 19th June 2009

oH my God...cough, headache, giddiness, flu, slight fever...haix, darling i miss u...nothing much 2 write in the blog2dae, drinking ribena...hehe, darling ur fav rite? hehe...=) drinking quite a lot of ribenna...sure kanna scolding from u 2nite...having chest pain, y all of a sudden...i cant wait 4 2dae, can mit the cell....yeah! at work 2dae, was a boring dae, no wrk...lol...no strenth...feel like vomitting again...hw cum like dat? 30mins to go, finish work...kanna scolding 4 nth again...sianz! baobei u stay at ur fren hse, muz rem 2 tk care of urself...ya?

2dae's quote: a simple love that feels warm

Written By: Wan Si
on [19/6/09] {Fri} @5pm

~aRgHh!~

2009-06-17T20:05:00.000-07:00

Thursday 18th June 2009

wad happened 2 moi lappy 2dae? kip hanging & so laggy...muz go 4 service? is moi com sick oleadi? so fast...? am i goin 2 fall sick again? or am i tinking 2 much abt moi health? feeling so tired everydae, & moi back is really killing me...lolx...seems like im back 2 blogging...mayb ish the only place where i can write down moi feelings? gosh...moi itch n rashes ish back again...hais...sumtimes i juz wonder wad if i nv exist, it would b gd isnt it? if onli time could go back, i would still b dere 4 u...i nid a life on moi own...i 1 2 do wad i want...god plz help me to choose the path i want...god plz heal moi worries, moi wounds & strethen me,,,heal all the sicks.. & oso heal moi dear frenz ard me who having illness...got cut by stabler bullet again...seems like eversince i started in dis job...i gt buises, cuts, & injuries....really haf 2 start on moi guitar...y am i not moving on it? y? misses moi taekwondo lessons so much...

2dae's quote: Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.

Written By: Wan Si
on [18/6/09] {thurs} @ 11.50am

~OucHh...my baCk is daMn paiN!~

2009-06-16T19:26:00.000-07:00

Wednesday 17th June 2009

dunno who the hack called me early in the morning 4am when im still slping & nw im so freaaking tired...get back 2 slp...n kip waking up...i juz hate pple disturb me from moi slp...plus im not well & my back is so painful..& haf 2 get up early 4 wrk...feel like scolding dat person...
im @t wrk nw...dis job is getting me 2 no where...dat kind of attitude is back which i dun feel like goin 2 wrk at all...listen 2 moi hp mp3 & guess wad the earpierce head stuck inside...wad the! darling u muz be very angry ytd nite...gif me 20 miss call...i nv ans...making u worry 4 mie...& afterdat i hang up ur call...so sorrie..u owaes try 2 take those daes 4 moi sake...im sorrie...even u noe those daes ur commission will be higher...afterall, u still care 4 me coz u noe ur temper is hot ytd...i noe im stubborn & owaes nv listen 2 u...i'll try 2 go 4 checkup & be ur gd bb 2 u

2dae's quote: sometimes it’s funny how sumone can break your heart and u can still love them with all the little pieces..

Written By: Wan Si
on [17/6/09] {Wed} @11.02am

~fOr eveRyting i'vE doNe...u 4giF me~

2009-06-15T19:04:00.000-07:00

Tuesday 16th June 2009

i'm at wrk doin nothing...hehe..
missing sum1 badly nw...i'll kip those daes a part of memories...
10z darling for ur 4gifness...i'll tk care of moiself n not let u worry...sorrie 4 making u angry n hurt u everytime...i'll wrk hard...counting down the dae 2 mit u...im so lucky n happy 2 still haf u by moi side...no matter hw tough moi life is n hw bad moi health is...i'll stay strong coz i noe u r dere 4 me
dis song is hw i feel nw...

林俊杰-我还想她

泪水将我淹没到底谁该难过
究竟是谁放掉这段感情

我才终于明白办不到的承诺就成了枷锁

现实中幸福永远缺货

请告诉她我不爱她

笑着难过自我惩罚

想终止这一切挣扎

狠了心说真心谎话

别告诉她我还想她

恨总比爱容易放下

当泪水堵住了胸口

就让沉默代替所有回答
music...
我不爱我不痛我不懂
我的心早已掏空真心话言不由衷
请告诉她我不爱她
笑着难过自我惩罚
想终止这一切挣扎
狠了心说真心谎话
别告诉她我还想她
恨总比爱容易放下
当泪水堵住了胸口
就让沉默代替所有回答
别告诉她我还想她
就让沉默代替所有回答

2dae's quote: words are beyond deception

Written By: Wan Si
on [16/6/09] {tue} @ 10.42am

~FeDuPp wiF liFe!~

2009-06-11T19:37:00.000-07:00

Friday 12th June 09

xtremly tired wif life!
get scolded when is not even my fault!
im not 1 hu u all can throw temper at!

darling, im sorrie if i throw temper 2 u...
2 mths 12 daes n on
cant wait 2 @@ u

gurl, if u onli noe
whenever u r down, im still here
whenever u r sad and feel like crying, my shoulder is 4 u
whenever u go, i remain still
Y do my heart still feel so pain?

张栋梁-沉默的瞬间

还搞不懂心痛是什麽
似懂非懂成云朵
爱得汹涌来不及闪躲
我却为她坠落

梦里我泪滑落几回
心软弱了逃避是非
潜意识我心碎
梦醒了我张开双臂
只愿为爱勇敢一点不后退

有谁会在乎有谁会想念
有谁能看穿我的笑脸
沉默的瞬间
寂寞却伴着我长眠
你走的坚决枯竭了爱恋
我给的一切

梦里我我的泪滑落几回
心软弱软弱了逃避是非
潜意识我心碎

梦醒了我醒了张开双臂
只愿为爱勇敢一点不后退

有谁会在乎有谁会想念
有谁能看穿我的笑脸
沉默的瞬间
寂寞却伴着我长眠
你走的坚决不后悔

有谁会在乎有谁会想念

沉默的瞬间
寂寞却伴着我长眠
你走的坚决枯竭了爱恋
我给的一切

爱得汹涌来不及闪躲
我却为她坠落

2dae's quote: the day u turn your head & walk away is the day my heart was dead

Written By: Wan Si
[12/06/09] {Fri} @ 11am

~tiRed ouT!~

2009-03-27T18:54:00.000-07:00

Saturday 28th March 2009

Seriously im feeling exhausted...i realli feel like giving up on everything...dad, if u haf make up ur mind dun bother 2 discuss wif me nx time...dis whole wk, i try 2 communicate wif u but im so tired 2 face u...i dunno y...i rather 2 kip quiet, u cum back juz tok so loudly...cant u juz let me haf a peace of mind on moi own...i luv grandma, she finally came back frm hospital on mon...i feel bad dat i din go visit her...n grandpa plz stop ur attitude n gamble n juz tk money, throw temper...i juz hate y i gt dis type of dad n grandpa sumtimes...moi infection is getting worst...i wanna concentrate everything! by nw, is moi hart cold or hot? y do i feel so stress? wad am i stress about? y i dun feel ani strength in me? the more i feel tired the more i tink alot...i thought of her... haf 2 continue moi wrk nw...tata

2dae's quote: make my heart pure as gold

Written by: wan si on [28/3/09] {sat} @11.17am

~LoW!~

2009-02-11T06:29:00.001-08:00

Wednesday 11th February 2009

wads the point of upset of moiself...? Pple still look at mie at the same point of view...no matter hw hard i try, dey juz tink no matter hw i try 2 prove moiself...dey still tink i juz sae words wifout ani actions, so many yrs...every1 surrounds mie...r all the same...yah, i tell moiself dun bother hw pple look at mie, if u r tink u r not means not, the fact ish dat im not strong, im juz trying 2 hide moiself...im deeply hurt n sad...but who ish dere, no1, am i tinking 2 much? dis ish the truth....even moi own family...i feel realli disspointed...some tings r meant 2 b urs, if ish not urs, u've juz haf 2 learn 2 let go, memories r meant 2 b kept, happy or sad...it may tk yrs, it may b gone,but no matter hw long, i'll wait if miracles do happens...moi heart 2 u remains 4eva...so long as u r blessed...as u r nw...i wanna @@ u even 4 a second, do i realli haf 2 4get u? im juz a call away...it's been omost 6mths since we lost contact...not a nite i dun rem u...u r the 1 dat brought mie alive n found moiself been mie...gurl, we r frenz in the 1st place...i noe...i'll still choose 2 b fren wif u...if onli ur ques repeat...coz i noe u din mean wad u sae...n im nt wad u 1...seeing u n her hurts n make mie sad...u r the most beautiful 1 in every1's eyes i guess..i choose 2 came out of the love triangle...coz im nt ur happiness...u r so happy nw...i feel happy or sad?
meh, 一切再也补不回我的伤口
i miss u i do but all i can do ish
juz treat u the wae as u 1 mie too
if hurting moiself can make u been happy wif her

2dae's quote: focus focus focus

written by: wan si
[11/2/09] on {wed} @ 11pm

~i hAd enUff!~

2009-02-07T05:44:00.000-08:00

7th February 2009

tears juz rolled down frm moi eyes naturally
i juz couldnt stop tinking of u
here i am missing u
u are in the arms of sum1
i cant do aniting but 2 juz wish u happiness
u r once a beautiful n sweet gurl n 4eva 1 & only 1
though i can juz b a fren 2 u frm the beginning
i wished i could juz died in ur arms
work nv went smoothly at all, moi head was freaking pain, was not in the good health, daes passed wifout meaning in life, economics are bad, was stuck in this job, cant move anywhere? i realli hate moiself, can sum1 gif mie sum support n encouragement instead, i nid a shoulder 2 cry on again...plz
meh, dis song is 4 u:
guess i can juz b a gd fren 2 u, saw ur sms,,,sobs...hopefully, cant wait 4 the dae 2 go suntan wif u, n psp ohH...bleah

杨丞琳-带我走

每次我总一个人走
交叉路口自己生活
这次你却说等我走
某个角落就你和我

像土壤抓紧花的迷惑

像天空缠绵雨的汹涌在你的身后

计算的步伐每个背影每个场景

都有发过的梦

带我走到遥远的以后

带走我一个人自转的寂寞

带我走就算我的爱你的自由都将成为泡沫

我不怕带我走
每次我总独自远走
保持缄默不皱眉头
这次你却说一起走
彼此温柔从此以后
白马溜过漆黑尽头
潮汐袭来浪花颤动
凝在海岸结成了墨
蔷薇朝向草原气球
邮差传来一地彩虹
刻在心中拍打着脉搏
带我走

2dae's quote: hiding under the rain to cover the tears

written by: wan si
[7/2/09] on {Sat} @ 10.50pm

~tiMe pLz stOp~

2009-01-30T17:56:00.000-08:00

31st January 2009

If time could go back 2 when we r 2gether
If time could would stop at dat time, dun regret - to dat 2 pple...follow ur hart...do u all realli 1 mie back or juz tk me back as a...? yah, gif me time as well gif urself time 2 tink abt us, i dun wish history will repeat...hope u can get wad i mean...move on...ish moi heart telling mie dis? had a wondeful nite dis few daes, but do i realli enjoy? iszit the real mie when im spending time wif u boi and the rest frm the cell group or...spending wif Miss G*** den ish the real me? i dunno wad is happening 2 me...im confuse...hw long muz i wait 4 moi mr/miss rite 2 appear? moi health again ish getting frm bad 2 worst...i can hardly breathe dis daes...wads wrong? i dun 1 2 tink abt it. haiz, feeling so devasted...refresh moi hart,mind n soul jesus...again...draw me closer 2 u again...feeling so sleepy nw, im at wrk, 2dae is sat...

i miss u
i missss u
i missssesss u
i wanna call u but i cant
all i can do is wait, but will u b mine?

2dae's quote: rockaby baby on the tree top

Written By: Wan Si
[31/1/09] on {Sat} @ 10.29am

~frEaking tiRed~

2008-12-29T04:42:00.000-08:00

Monday 29th December 2008

周华健:只有你

我知道我的心只有你
我知道我最爱的只有你
为何总是拙于言词
为何总是怅然若失
千言万语我该如何如何修饰
我知道我的心只有你
我知道我最爱的只有你
不要说我目光闪烁
不要说我无法掌握
我只想要为你付出更多更多
我的心不改变不分黑夜与白天
我的心只想念你那迷惑却温柔的眼

我的心不改变不分黑夜与白天
我的心只想念你那迷惑的双眼
我的心像从前纵然时光如云烟
爱也深情也深想你在我梦魂之间
我知道我的心只有你
我知道我最爱的只有你
不要怀疑我的沉默
不要怀疑我的承诺
平凡如我绝不愿意如此漂泊

2dae's quote: Reach out for you

Written By: wan si on [29/12/08] {Mon} @8.55pm

~ChristmAs is cominG...~

2008-12-19T04:03:00.000-08:00

Friday 19th Dec 2008

finally changed moi tagboard n blogskin for the coming brand new yr...at last updated moi blog...o well, 2dae ish 19th...yah, i gif up...haf i realli given up on us? u do, so am i...many thing happen recently...i thought i could live happily...wifout ani1 by moi side...guess im too emo...when nites cum, i'll feel sad & lonely....y do i haf dis feeling backed again? i thought i could overcum the fears n the deaths of moi 3 relatives dis yr...im alrite i guess, but wad worry most is moi maternal grandma...ive realised ive changed 2 a more weird person instead of a betta person...i miss her, i do, after i gt moi job stable down, im tired of moi attitude...i'll tk care n go n visit u often as long as i haf the time...once again, i miss n i love u, gurl.

2dae's quote: merry christmas!

Written by: wan si on {Fri} [19/12/08] @8.18pm

~waD is haPpeninG!~

2008-10-24T22:01:00.000-07:00

Saturday 25th October 2008

was reading sum1's blog for the past 3 daes. im sad n happy as well....as time goes, u are still in moi head n soul...was bz wif the army signing up...yup, i wanna go in to the army specialist...but i haf 2 pass moi naffa test, get a sliver...moi partner staying at moi side still for dis 1 mth and 1 wk...though we omost quarrel everydae...thanks...feeling so stress up recently...no jobs...every1 thought was the same...i feel so useless 2 every1...who actually understands mie? when i nid sum1 who is dere 4 mie? getting exhausted day by day...gotta go for traning up nw...tata

Lin Jun Jie-wo hai xiang ta

现实中幸福永远缺货请告诉她
我不爱她笑着难过
自我惩罚想终止这一切
挣扎横了心说真心谎话别告诉她
我还想她
恨总比爱容易放下当泪水堵住了胸口
就让沉默代替所有回答我才终于明白
办不到的承诺就成了枷锁现实中幸福永远缺货请告诉她
我不爱她笑着难过
自我惩罚想终止这一切
挣扎横了心说真心谎话别告诉她
我还想她
恨总比爱容易放下当泪水堵住了胸口
就让沉默代替所有回答我不爱
我不痛我不懂我的心早已掏空
真心话言不由衷请告诉她
我不爱她笑着难过
自我惩罚想终止这一切
挣扎横了心说真心谎话别告诉她
我还想她恨总比爱容易放下当泪水堵住了胸口
就让沉默代替所有回答别告诉她
我还想她就让沉默代替所有回答

2dae's quote: learn from mistakes! get up on your own nobody can help you!

Written By: wan si on [25/10/08] {Sat} @ 3.31pm

~hw Im Feeling ritE nw!~

2008-09-18T08:23:00.001-07:00

Thurday 18th Sep 2008

was supposed 2 mit jj n rest at play 2dae at 10pm...jj called me ask me wanna go...i wanna go...but den sth stopped me frm goin...i drank myself instead...if getting drunk can stop me frm loving u so much...dis wk is the 2nd time i drink...i dunno wad happened, was so down...i juz couldnt stop...

song tittle:余地
singer:艾成

我很清楚,一切都余事无补是我让勇气,
流浪到无影踪的远处心事说出时,
已迟了一步能不能留点余地
让我好好呼吸
让我好好地爱你
在我生离之际我需要你存在我的世界里
能不能留点余地让我听你的声音
让我看着你眼睛在我失去你
之际至少还能将我的创伤抚平
music悲伤伴孤独,寂寞伴苦酒独自痛苦,
天空早已布满雾最后我迷路,
东奔西窜却无路可出累了,
情网竟是死亡的迷宫

2dae's quote: what was in my mind right now, none other then you, god bless you!

Written By: wan si on [18/9/09] {Thurs} @11.44pm

2008-09-12T21:40:00.000-07:00

Saturday 13th Sep 2008

cherie love ytd was ur bdae...happy bdae! 2pid dad woke me up early dis morning! nt enuff slp! shaggg...! slept onli 4 hrs...mayb will went back 2 slp...den after dat woke up at 3pm n get ready 4 a new service at chruch...onli a song is in moi head rite nw...

Leona lewis: it will be

There's nothing I could say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me

All the pain, the tears I cried
Still you never said goodbye and now I know
How far you'd go

[Bridge:]
I know I let you down
But it's not like that now
This time I'll never let you go

[Chorus:]
I will be, all that you want
And get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart

All my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

[Verse 2:]
I thought that I had everything
I didn't know what life could bring
But now I see, honestly

You're the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside
Now I can breathe, cause you're here with me

[Bridge:]
And if I let you down
I'll turn it all around
Cause I would never let you go

[Chorus:]
I will be, all that you want
And get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart

All my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

[Ending bridge:]
Cause without you I cant sleep
I'm not gonna ever, ever let you leave
You're all I've got, you're all I want
Yeah

And without you I don't know what I'd do
I can never, ever live a day without you
Here with me, do you see,
You're all I need

[Chorus:]
And I will be, all that you want
And get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart

All my life (my life), I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

[Chorus:]
I will be (I'll be), all that you want
And get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart

And all my life, you know I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

2dae's quote:press the delete button and erase everything away

Written By: wan si on [13/9/08] {Sat} @ 12.56pm

~StranGe...~

2008-09-10T22:13:00.000-07:00

Thursday 11th Sep 2008

2dae's n 2molo's date i'll nv 4get...it's been a yr...anywae, tings seems 2 b strange 2 mie, the world is juz like a stranger 2 mie nw, im getting further n further frm dis world...i realli love the job but i juz duno hw 2 show hw much love in it...temp to perm...my head is giddy dis daes...nt enuff slp? a letter i wanna gif it 2 u, y it's still in the rm? guess, i had enuff!

梁朝伟-你是如此难以忘记

早已知道爱情是难舍难离
早已知道爱一个人不该死心塌地
早已不再相信所谓天长地久的结局
所以我习惯了一个人的孤寂
所以我习惯在人来人去中保持清醒
所以我习惯戴上面具
不再为谁付出真心
但为何还是把你藏在心里
为什么还是等着你的消息
我怎能告诉自己说我一点都不在意
你是如此的难以忘记
浮浮沉沉的在我心里
你的笑容你的一动一举
都是我所有的记忆
你是如此的难以忘记
浮浮沉沉的在我心里
改变自己需要多少勇气
翻腾的心情该如何平息

2dae's quote: will the dead souls survive?

Written by: wan si on [11/9/08] {thurs} @2.02pm

~a unrEalistiC dreaM...~

2008-09-06T22:30:00.000-07:00

Sun 7th Sep 2008

ytd went 2 a wedding dinner...my heart aches n was touch at the same time...each time deres a function like dis...i feel so happy 4 dem...is a blessing dat a couple can b 2gether...
i miss u so much nw...dis morning dream is so weird. It can nv came true. I shelter the bullet 4 u, it hit me, u ask if im oki? y am i so silly? My ans 2 u ish im alrite, for u it's worth...juz like episodes in the drama...guess im tinking 2 much...

2dae's quote: There is a mystical way of life.Far beyond our understanding

Written By: wan si on [7/9/08] {Sun} @1.51pm

2008-09-02T22:18:00.000-07:00

Wednesday 3rd Sep 2008

没想到。。。
我又再一次的心跳加速。。。。。
没有人了解。。。
为什么我会有这种感觉。。。。。
尝试过了心碎的痛苦。。。
我以为我已经麻痹了。。
也把心锁了起来。。。。
直到认识了你。。。。。
我才发现原来那把锁匙原来就在你手中。。。
你幽默的温柔。。
就这样让我的心起了涟漪。。
手中的手机。。
满满是你不懂修饰。。
却能让我感到幸福的词汇。。。
就算只是一通电话。。。
握住的手机的手也能感觉到你的温度。。。
这就是为什么我不用自由式话筒的原因。。
没有人了解。。
我要的只是很简单。。
那种甜蜜简单的默契。。

2dae's quote: sometimes love is not that simple

written by: wan si on [3/9//08] {wed} @1.38pm

~sObs...~

2008-09-01T23:18:00.001-07:00

Tuesday 2nd Sep 2008

看着你牵着她的手。。。

好难过。。。

眼泪差点就流出来了。。。

但。。。

还是被我忍住了。。。

看见那些你和她要好的画面。。。

我的心都碎了。。。

那些画面总在我脑海里浮现。。。

让我忍不住想哭。。。

心好痛。。。好累。。。

不想再去想你和她的那些画面。。。

我讨厌那些画面。。。

讨厌它总在我脑里出现。。。

讨厌它让我心痛。。。

让我哭。。。

那些记忆我不想要。。。

好想就这样失忆。。。

好让我忘记那些不开心的记忆。。。

我。。。

会学着放弃你。。。

会努力的逼自己离开。。。

那天。。。

看见她靠着你。。。

我真的很难过。。。

心很痛。。。

我不想哭。。。

我一点也不想哭。。。

可是为什么我的眼泪却一直掉下来。。。

为什么我就不能坚强些。。。？

为什么我总是那么的脆弱。。。？

当我看见这一幕我真的很难过。。。

我不知道该说什么。。。

其实我很想跟你信息。。。

可是也不知道自己是怎么了。。。

摆着一幅不想信息的样子。。。

你知道吗。。。？

我真的好想你。。。

想你想到都快疯了。。。

怎么你就不能不管那么多。。。？

就陪着我就是了。。。？

我是真得很需要你陪着我。。。

只是自己总是那样爱逞强。。。

我感觉自己是个坏人。。。

为什么让你那么难受。。。？

我的心好痛好痛。。。

什么话也说不出来。。。

也不知道该说什么。。。

因为都是我害的。。。

都是我害你那么的辛苦。。。

那么的难受。。。

虽然你说不是我压得你喘不过气。。。

但我知道如果没有我。。。

不会烦恼。。。

也不会辛苦了。。。

最后。。。

我说了。。。

我退出。。。

那时我的心真的快碎了。。。

我不想你难过。。。

看着你那么难过。。。

我也很难过。。。

也许我这样做能让你好过点。。。

2dae's quote: still the one

Written By: wan si on [2/9/08] {tues} @2.48pm

~i dO miss u, i dO, ger!~

2008-08-30T07:31:00.000-07:00

Saturday 30th Aug 2008

no blue words for 2dae which is indicating my normal words of blogging...instead...
2dae is a mth after noeing u...nw while listening 2 songs, moi mind suddenly thought of u, i miss u, i miss the times, after dat dae, i noe u r disspointed in me...yup, im weak, im a failure...frm dat moment on, frm dat dae on, but moi ans is still the same no...wadeva xplaination is it...i muz move on wifout u, i nid 2 find wad i 1 in life, i dunno am i waiting 4 u, 4 all i noe i still miss u...ger...
i gt no more temper,
coz all i can did is nth
i hide away the pains,
i try 2 hide the tears,
but it still flows down,
not infront of u, but infront of her
y? i dunno
everynite, slpness nite
im tired
i hit my knuckles,
im foolish,
i run awy frm u n her
i dun dare 2 look into ur eyes
i rather harm myself
nw, wad can i sae
i gif u moi blessing

2dae's quote; i'm trapped and no one can save me unless im willing 2 come out

Written By: Wan Si on [30/08/08] {Sat} @10.47pm

~wAd he fcK!~

2008-08-23T22:40:00.002-07:00

Sunday 24th Aug 2008

i din go 2 church service 2dae, coz i 1 2 sort tings out 2 u...frm ytd till nw, im moody, feel like crying everynite, i trying 2 solve. u r getting out of moi nerves, im getting frustrated. enuff! u should noe wad dae is it...dun try 2 test moi patient n limit! enuff! u should noe moi temper, dun make me flare up! i try 2 tok 2 u nicely coz u r the person i once loved...if u still one 2 drag the prob...u noe wad the consequences will b...u dun 1 ans n reply...well, u are trying 2 push everyting 2 me...im stress up! i dunno wad u 1!
cherie love dun b sad animore or no mood le oki?
j**u 4gotten me? sobz...
should i b sad or happy 2 @@ ur jov**n
i dunno i smile back at her
but the smile is faked
i do love u
i do miss u
a week has passed
when will u ans moi call...
r u the 1 i noe?

2dae's quote; never will i be happy without you

Written By: Wan Si on [24/8/08] {Sun} @2.14pm

~iS dis oUr goOdbye?~

2008-08-20T22:00:00.000-07:00

Thursday 21st Aug 2008

ytd at bugis...dun nid 2 avoid ok when u @@ me, u run away wif her juz like dat, but it doesnt hurt me animore...i dunno whether is u or not...

im oki
am i really ok?
i try 2 4get u
but i juz lied 2 moiself

2dae's quote: cause of you, i changed

Written by: wan si on [21/8/08] {thurs} @2.07pm

~coLd n frOzen!~

2008-08-19T22:21:00.001-07:00

Wednesday 20th Aug 2008

if i sae im ok, doesnt mean im ok
do both of u noe wads does the feeling is like of been betrayed n hurt
really noe?
are those words encouragement or a hurt 2 me?
muz i pretend dat i dun really care?
so wad if i realli love u?
so wad if i miss u?
u cut me deeply
yes, wifout u moi heart is dead
muz i sae dat i realli treat u as fren
i dunno wad moi life is
happy?
u may tink im foolish or wad trying 2 get ur attention
is not worth
i feel useless
moi head is still spinning till nw
u'r b cuming heartless
r u the 1 i love
i once noe
u treat me gd as a fren
i feel used
impossible love beween us
u may sound as if nothing
but u r not me
u dunno hw i feel, dunno
if i really fall 4 sum1 so easily,
i wont continue
mayb it it is
but eversince u enter, it's different
im dying wif pain
do u noe dat?
no u dun!
sorrie every1
i cant promise u all aniting nw n eva
for i dunno who am i nw

2dae's quote: will u ever kiss me again?

Written by: wan si on [20/8/08] {wed} @1.37pm

~sHattereD!~

2008-08-17T21:38:00.000-07:00

Monday 18th Aug 2008

dad, dun tink nw we r betta yet, i still can rem hw u smashed moi fone, i'll nt 4gif u...i try 2 4gif u but i cant! it's far 2 hurt! moi precious hp is more impt den u oki! saw the person i hate at tangs bazzar at suntec ytd, y muz dere b hatred? cant we haf peace? dis morning supposed 2 wake up early go 4 interview, told moi cousin 2 change 2 a later time, he change 2 we morning instead, cherie love gif me a morning call at 8am, i ask her to...went back 2 slp, dad wake me up, i hate pple disturb me while im slping can! cherie love called again, sae she 4get bring her uniform, goin hm 2 tk...dots
wad happend between us?
it's b coming worst
believe wad others saes
i cant denied
it's the truth
u dun 1 2 reply, dun 1 tok 2 me, dun intend 2 @@ me
dun even 1 2 ans moi call
i cant sae anything but 2 hide moiself at a corner 2 cry
thoughts of u in moi slp
wadeva i send u is hw i feel
well, no matter hw much i miss u
iszit impt 2 u? No!
hard 2 believe me
if i'll in ur shoes,
i will not too
2 much sins, im juz a nothing, a sinner owaes
im a failure once again

2dae's quote; why should i still stay on

written by: wan si on [18/8/08] {mon} @1.10pm

~uPset me!~

2008-08-15T22:07:00.000-07:00

Saturday 16th Aug 2008

another great grandma passed away in batam ytd...im indeed v.sad but i din cry...last 2 mths moi relative juz passed away...n nw another blow 4 me...juz cant understand y pple r so heartless, y dey can still b pretend nth happen when their loved 1 is gone, all they juz dun wish 2 mention abt it? juz kip it 2 demselves? all i 1 is sum1 2 tok 2 me...lol, aniwae, tennis match ytd was interesting though was quite disspointed wif li jia wei...3hrs of match...yawns...finally dey gt a sliver...i can nv played dat well, whaha...watching table tennis (men) nw...*misses*
n yet u juz simply dun care...

Leona Lewis-better in time

It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through

Going coming thought I heard a knock
Who's there no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realise that I really didn't know
If you didn't notice you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok

[Chorus:]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings

If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the path
I believe in
And I know that time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok

[Chorus:]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is
I'll be fine without you
Yes I will

[Chorus: X2]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

cherie love, 10z for toking 2 me on the fone all dis while...n u arh, sick oleadi dun 1 tk medicine, muz tk oki? dun juz drink milo wiff biscuit leh...hehe

i nv failed 2 call u back
i nv failed 2 b dere 4 u
i nv failed 2 go n find u
i nv failed 2 msg u back
i was nv meant a thought from u
y muz u lied?
i hate liars, juz tell me u dun1 tok 2 me if u dun intend 2...
dun sae u dun 1 hurt me
u hurt me 2 badly dis time round
im in the wrong
i shoudnt enter into ur life

2dae's quote: sunshine and rain never separated

~wHo r u?~

2008-08-14T23:53:00.000-07:00

Friday 15th Aug 2008

where haf u gone to?
it realli dun matter anymore?

who am i in ur heart?
who r u in moi heart?
i no longer know
each time i get near u
u try 2 move away
is moi heart frozen?
is moi heart dead?
where does moi heart gone too? sumwhere far?

Leona Lewis-here i am

This is a crazy world
These can be lonely times
It's hard to know who's on your side
Most of the time

Who can you really trust
Who do you really know
Is there anybody out there
Who can make you feel less alone
Some times you just can't make it on your own

If you need a place where you can run
If you need a shoulder to cry on
I'll always be your friend

When you need some shelter from the rain
When you need a healer for your pain
I will be there time and time again
When you need someone to love you
Here I am, hmmm

If you have broken dreams
Just lay them all on me
I'll be the one who understands
So take my hand

If you reach emptyness

You know I'll do my best
To fill you up with all the love
That I can show someone
I promise you you'll never walk alone

Well if you need a place where you can run
If you need a shoulder to cry on
I'll always be your friend

When you need some shelter from the rain
When you need a healer for your pain
I will be there time and time again
When you need someone to love you
Here I am, oooo

Everybody needs somebody who
keep a heart and soul in two

Well if you need a place where you can run
If you need a shoulder to cry on
I'll always be your friend

When you need some shelter from the rain
When you need a healer for your pain
I will be there time and time again
When you need someone to love you
Here I am, Here I am

2dae's quote: im coming back to the heart of worship

Written By: Wan Si on [15/8/08] {Fri} @ 3.33pm

~aM i gIving u uP?~

2008-08-13T21:58:00.000-07:00

Thursday 14th Aug 2008

I nid a job!
I nid u!
all i can sae is sorrie! all the best 2 u n her
o1.o8.o8-10z 4 the night n ur hug 2 slp
o9.o8.o8-10z 4 dat moment of time
12.o8.o8-sorrie 2 spoilt ur dae

2dae's quote: i was never meant to b urs!

Written By: wan si on [14/8/08] {Thurs} @1.50pm

~lifE wiFout u...~

2008-07-29T22:27:00.001-07:00

Wed 30th July 2008

cant get 2 slp 4 the whole nite till morning...damn pain moi head

dis is hw i feel 2wards u...i dunno hw 2 console u but moi hart do aches...

Yang Zong Wei-yang cong

如果你眼神能够为我片刻的降临

如果你能听到心碎的声音

沉默的守护着你沉默的等奇迹

沉默的让自己像是空气

大家都吃着聊着笑着今晚多开心

最角落里的我笑得多合群

盘底的洋葱像我永远是调味品

偷偷的看着你偷偷的隐藏着自己

如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心

你会发现你会讶异

你是我最压抑最深处的秘密

如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心

你会鼻酸你会流泪

只要你能听到我看到我的全心全意

听你说你和你的他们暧昧的空气

我和我的绝望装得很风趣

我就一像颗洋葱永远是配角戏

多希望能与你有一秒专属的剧情

2dae'q quote: the person who love u doesnt make u cry

Written by: Wan si on [30/7/08] {Wed} @2pm

~i niD u~

2008-07-24T21:51:00.000-07:00

Friday 25th July 2008

on the 23rd, i dun 1 2 sae much...it's a dae which...i went 2 jerine's bbq...i was dere early 2 help dem tk tings...waited 4 mel 2 marinate the chicken, we tried 2 start fire but cant, lucky mel was dere 2 help out wif the fire...we had a bbq nite...waiting 4 gary. mel's gf...den venix came, i din noe dat zel, n her frens came too, dats when i started 2 drink, i rem wad dey sae...after dat i went emo again...i dunno wads wrong during dat time...we had a dice game till 2pm...i wanna walk hm actually but den i was so drunk till i cried n injured moiself...i stay over dere wif her n her gf instead...like lamp post...lol...nx morning, we overslept, i wanna call dem up, but dun wanna disturb dem...after checking out, jerine want 2 tk cab back, she want 2 alight me at the mrt station, but den her kind gf, gab wanna send me hm...10z... n after a nite, i finally get a ans 2 noe wad i 1 in life...
cherie love i juz dream of u dis morning. if onli the dream of u n me dat part is real...

如果有一天，
你走進我的心裡，
你一定會哭，
因為裡面裝滿你的點滴。
如果有一天，
我走進你的心裡，
我也一定會哭，
因為裡面找不到我的身影，
你忙，忘了我需要人陪，
忘了我會寂寞，
忘了我在等你電話，
忘了你對我的承諾。
真心愛過一個人...
不是說想忘記就能忘記...
死心只是一個騙自己的藉口從前的那顆心一直都還在...
因為你，我有被疼愛的感覺.
也因為你.
我再度掉下眼淚
我不斷的流淚.
該說的話我都說了,
不該說的話我也說了,
我不會再免強你什麼,
心痛的滋味是你讓我知道的,
只希望你過的好,
我要的只是，
你偶爾可以想想我，
偶尔关心我，
偶尔打电话给我
就是那樣簡單...

2dae's quote: where have my smile gone too?

written by: wan si on [25/7/08] {Fri} @1.45pm

~plz staY!~

2008-07-20T01:38:00.000-07:00

Sunday 20th July 2008

din go 2 chruch service 2dae again...i din noe i can slp till dat long, 4 all i noe moi cough n flu nt recovered yet...i fell back 2 slp after moi lunch juz nw, slp till nw, dats y moi stomach is getting bigger...whaha...ytd nite b4 i went 2 slp, i thought was qi called but i nv noe it was u...the moment u ans the phone, moi hart sank again, i omost cried after hearing ur voice...2 moi ex n her frenz, i nv noe wadeva i do, every1 juz hate me...after so long, if i make u all so unhappy, wad 4 cum n encourage me n stay wif me 4 the whole nite? wad r frenz? true frenz? i thought u noe mie the best, but u n the rest juz tink im showing like dat...let dis misunderstanding b unclear till u cum back on tuees frm thailand...love, u haf been ignoring for 2 n a half dae , i dunno wad happened 2 u, i was worried...im still waiting 4 ur sms n call...did i do or sae aniting wrong?

2dae's quote: seeking for a new life

Written By: wan si on sun [20/7/08] {Sun} @ 5.15pm

~still feelinG siCk!~

2008-07-17T21:13:00.000-07:00

Friday 18th July 2008

a week has passed n im still feeling so sick n tired...fever, flu, cough, sore troat...n still no news frm jobs...oh man, moi hair...the tail is gone...the bleach part of hair has turn sth like black...oso dunno wad colour, so dark...i miss moi hair colour...but no choice haf 2 sacrifice due 2 easier of finding job...been at hm ish juz like been in jail 2 mie nw, dad moi hair is moi hair, i haf the rite...n stop complaining n throw temper at me, as if u show dat u really love n care 4 me...i dun feel anything...i tell moiself u r moi father afterall...nw i dun @@ a nid 2 gif u bdae present...if u tink u r wasting ur time n saliva on me...den save it...i haf enuff...im juz controlling, shouting back at u 4 wad...all u tink is urself...when u sae dat ish 4 moi own gd...i nid a break! cherie love, dis few daes when treat me like as if im a nothing 2 u, i sumhw feel worthless...mayb i am worthless...juz nw u send mie a sms thought dat u r her substitude, no...but den am i? i cant sae much ..moi cough is getting frm bad 2 worst...going for an interview lata...haiz, when den will i b able 2 get a job...i cant stand been at hm oleadi...im getting out of mind soon...gonna go crazy...

2dae's quote: can some one lend me a shoulder to cry on?

written by: wan si on [18/7/08] {Fri} @12.45pm

~ControLLing mOi teArs!~

2008-07-14T01:12:00.000-07:00

Monday 14th July 2008

moi fingers r still swelling due 2 the toilet door at ben's hse last wk...damn pain lor...sobsss...im having bad flu n fever, cough nw, it's been daes...went 2 ur place juz nw 2 get back moi stuffs...i juz control moi tears...i noe dat i shoudnt tink of u anymore...sorrie! sorrie 4 everyting, every hurt i gave...the pains i gave can nv b recovered, i cant stop u for hating mie...anywae, ytd was moi paternal grandma bdae, was having dinner at nearby moi hse...was wondering hw much bdae can we celebrate wif her...thinking of it reminds mie of the death of moi greatgrandma daughter recently n moi greatgrandma death when i was 12, it's over but i still dwelling over it...i dunno y...i miss dem badly...greatgrandma u r owaes dere when im sad 2 pamper mie wif the sweet (hecks) n i'll b happy, but nw when i eat...it's so bitter...wheneva christmas was near, i juz thought of her...qi called me up ytd nite, sae she was drunk...i thought of consoling u, but i moiself oso cant...i'll juz b ur listening ears...time files...each time u r at her hse, u owaes told mie nt too tink 2 much...but moi heart aches...wifout ur concern n care, hw do i carry on...?

2dae's quote: Tell someone how you feel before it's too late

Written By: Wan Si on [14/7/08] {Mon} @4.45pm

~sPeeChless!~

2008-07-10T19:26:00.000-07:00

Friday 11 July 2008

Im speechless! all of u r irritated by me, so do i feel irritated 2 moiself...i can never understand moiself animore...im juz so childish, cant i simply move on! u all can hate me...i hate moiself! sorry can nv cure anything...kill mie...i realli nid 2 b killed! plz im oleadi 23 n i still act like 1 small kid, im juz such a failure...wayne, marilyn both of u r rite, i haf 2 grow up, i cant b like dat animore...im a bad person so let it b, wadeva i xplain, dats nothing more i can do, since u hate me so much, so let it b...i cant sae aniting...i was wrong...i noe dat i can nv replace the hurt u get frm mie...sooriee 4 everything...

2dae's quote: simply immature!

Written By: wan si on [11/7/08] {thurs} @10.40am

~haPPiness in u!~

2008-07-09T22:00:00.000-07:00

Thursday 10th July 2008

when i woke up dis morning, i saw ur msg, a msg saeing u wont 1 2 call or msg mie anymore, if u tink im realli happy n 4gotten abt u, u r wrong, u should noe dat im juz pretending...im hurt, u r nv dere when i nid u, even frens, i dunno wad am i waiting 4...yesh, u r happy wif ur life nw, happy been wif her n 4gotten all abt mie, nv was i in ur hart, but not mie...when i read ur blog u nv noe hw hurt am i...u will never spare a thought 4 me...never...i haf given up on j** eversince coz i noe i can nv gif any1 happiness...4 u, i haf change 2 a different person i nv noe who i am...freeze n numbed...u should b happy bah...

放弃你，但我不放弃爱你... 痛苦的不是过去,而是记忆... 只有深爱的笑最甜,却也让我痛的最真! 回忆固然伤感亦美好,不如把这点唯一的美好,放在心底收藏至永远!
想你,是一种痛,隐隐的痛!不常来,却挥之不去.
想你,是一种,刻骨铭心的痛！不常来,却仍深刻!
现在痛苦不幸福,是因为我还未放下,沉浸在痛苦之中!
痛苦的不是过去,而是记忆！
我不明白为什么人总要在经历一些事情之后才能多了解自己一点，如果一切都可以避免，就不会这么伤心了!
曾经以为自己是世界上最幸福的人，即使失去一切，还有爱情，其实不是，直到你对我的冷漠感到你不再属于我!你说你选择了离开!
时间可以治疗爱情留下的痛，唯一丢不掉的只有深刻在脑海里的记忆!
爱情的回忆往往让人伤透了心让你最甜,也让你痛!
爱情这东西没有人会不要，但幸福要靠两人把手牵珍惜!
至少,我还有微笑的理由!
只有镜中的自己才懂得自己的心!!!

dis 2 daes im sick, till nw having fever...im depressed, had quarrels wif dad again, n the past seems 2 returned...n i realli broke down...on the 6th, dat nite,i was upset when cherie din tok 2 mie, din reply 2 moi msgs, n u din ans moi call, all the tings juz happened on the same nite...but i still face a strong image infront of every1...nt discouraged...met up wif ah von on the 7th...we went 2 bugis...after dat i waited 4 her for 3 hrs...juz 2 wait 4 her lesson 2 end...moi legs wobble..walk dunno hw many rounds in bugis...i was so stupid...hopefully i can xpect 2 @@ u...cherie love chatted wif mie 4 while, at least gt 2 hear her lovely voice...we went 2 sing n walk hm...ytd we went 2 tam, den go sing k again...moi voice changed...i dunno wad haf ive been doin...i omost lie down on ah von's lap n hug her...cherie called n again we onli chatted for like 5mins, coz she goin 2 mit her dat sum1 for badminton...moi hart totally sanked n gt no mood 2 continue singing...i dunno y...can we eva chat like dat very nite everydae? sobzzz sobxxx....din get any msgs from cherie love...sobsss...n u din even 1 2 reply again...goin for a tennis match wif ben at his place lata at 4pm...den wait 4 qi 2 finish wrk den we go 4 gym n pool...should i eat dinner lata?...moi head still in a mess...so giddy n pain...spinning n spinning...it seems like going 2 rain...oh no...

如果你不爱一个人,请放手. 好让别人有机会爱她.如果你爱的人放弃了你,请放开自己,好让自己有机会爱别人.有的东西你再喜欢也不会属于你的,有的东西你再留恋也注定要放弃的.人生中有许多种 .但别让自己让成为一种伤害.有些缘分是注定要失去的,有些缘分是永远都不会有好结果的,爱一个人不一定要拥有,但拥有一个人就一定要好好的去爱她.如果真诚是一种伤害,我选择谎言;如果谎言一种伤害,我选择沉默;如果沉默是一种伤害,我选择离开.
也许没有拿到满分，还不算完美的人，所以都比谁都认真，努力赶上你的标准，爱是我的责任，努力的用笑容取代眼泪，看你难过我会心疼
就算心痛，就算受伤也理性的只是独轻嗜.
如果可以没有了自尊和骄傲，是不是才能够让你看到我其实受了伤……
我真的好累好累了...

2dae's quote: No questions, no answers, Just the darkness above

Written By: wan si on [9/7/08] {thurs} @2.15pm

~all oF a suddEn...~

2008-07-07T06:17:00.000-07:00

Monday 7th July 2008

it's been 2 weeks since our last break up...i miss u...i realli do, but nw u r wif her happily, i still on healing...but 10z gt cherie...mit qi up at 2.30pm at inter, but i was late suppose 2 mit at 2pm...went to ah ben hse for gym...but i was having slight fever n giddy...din stay dere 4 long or shall i sae i nv jog...thought of wanting 2 play pool but den i was hungry...so we went up 2 ben place wait 4 him 2 tk a shower while qi online n i was playing xbox...like moi hse like dat...i lose the soccer game 2 ben...score was 0 to 7...haha...after dat, we went 4 dinner...i kip complaining the stingray, sotong so small plate...so sorry ben u haf 2 pay again...haiz, i dunno y u suddenly treat mie like u dun 1 mie animore...iszit coz of her...u n her wad happen? i noe i dun haf the rite 2 noe...nw u r at her hse toking but tings will end up like wad i xpected, i hope im nt tinking 2 much, but i cant help, i wake up in the middle of the nite, ytd u r drunk, u r having fever too...moi hart aches deeply, i feel sad n sore...i dunno y...cherie love, wadeva it is, i'll b here...waiting 4 ur call and reply still...no matter hw long it ish...hope im not 2 sensitive...weeee...the 9pm show all the sexy babes, continue 2 watch 10pm show...tata...sobsssss...din manage 2 slp well dis daes....

2dae's quote: i can never find some one like you

written by: wan si on [7/7/08] {mon} @10pm

~waKe uP!~

2008-07-05T21:33:00.000-07:00

Sunday 6th July 2008

Yawnz...wake up le lazy 2 go 4 service...im so sleepy nw, feeling so weak nw, hehe 10z 4 acc mie the whole nite ytd until u fall sick le cherie love...muacks...anywae, juz 2 update, last 2 daes i mit qi 2 pass things 2 den...den was rite, i was 2 processive...i shouldnt hold onto u so tightly...wake up! deon jozelle! nevertheless, i still want 2 u b happy since u r nw, i should juz gif u blessing, juz hope dat u will still ans moi call n reply 2 moi msgs...i will try 2 get up on moi own...giddy nw...dunno wad is happening 2 me dis few wks...smk smk smk, cry cry cry, oso cant change anything...i shouldnt haf go back 2 the pass anymore....hopefully moi health is betta...moi stomach ish getting bigger n bigger, pimples oh man! moi sickness, n the disease, hw long can i live? i wonder...im juz a stranger 2 u nw

2dae's quote: Let time resolve everything

Written By: Wan Si on [6/7/08] {Sun} @12.50pm

~lettinG u gO...~

2008-07-02T19:15:00.000-07:00

Thursday 3rd July 2008

happy bdae 2 joanne lau! haha...sweet 16 o...muz treat grace gd huh...i noe u will...ytd din mit up wif qi...end up i go von hse...haha...von olthough the 3 hrs is short but 10z 4 acc n listening 2 moi story olthough u r sad enuff...wanted 2 stay longer...haiz...den go sumwhere dat gt memory n slack dere...o man, moi hair is so damaged by the bleach...sobz...u r so sweet wif ur ger nw, yet i can onli gif u moi blessing...wo yuan yi fang qi ni ru guo zhe shi wei yi ai ni de fan fa,i feel so hurt n sad still...but deres nothing i can do...den wait 4 cherie 2 call mie, 10z 4 staying up 4 like 30 mins 2 tok 2 mie...lata mitting qi go ecp...miss the daes...

yang zong wei-rang (4 u)

多想要找到一丝挣扎在你脸上可是你美得冷得淡得像月亮等着你的那辆车灯闪一下像催你草草断了我们的过往约好要每年回到初拥吻的地方划一个记号写下相恋的感想等明年我剩一个人坐在堤防改唱首什么歌来纪念爱的傻你逃亡又让你回航我让你依赖我也让你倔强只要你微笑带一点感动的泪光我就能够得到再给的力量我让你飞翔又让你说谎我让你苛求我也让你奢望我还以为爱就是要体贴的退让我们一起盖的罗马你却跟他拆了城墙踩过我用挚爱建筑的天堂太绝对的爱变成了活该　朋友要我责怪　我却只想重来　也许这就叫爱多少日子盖的罗马你用一夜拆了城墙踩碎我曾让你栖息的胸膛

aaron kwok-dang di you shui nen gao shu wo (4 u)

到底有谁能够告诉我要怎样回到从前
有你在我身边拿生命换都情愿
到底有谁能够告诉我要怎样回到从前
随风作流浪的梦和你再相逢请你告诉我
是谁说最坚强的承诺如今却变得脆弱
请你告诉我是谁说要永远的等候
如今让我孤独地走
轰轰烈烈风风光光我
又曾经拥有甚么
来来去去过过往往
真心付出结果又如何
请告诉我

2dae's quote: will i able to say goodbye?

written by: wan si on [3/7/08] {thurs} @10.28am

~a un4gettable daE!~

2008-07-01T19:53:00.000-07:00

Wednesday 2nd June 2008

wake up by moi father early in the morning, slp onli like 4hrs...yawnsss...nearly quarrel wif him again...yah, i agree im not independent, at least i try, all u tink is im slacking ard, slp slp slp, in ur eyes im owaes like dat! n owaes tk ur money...yah, u r worry...u concern abt me, rite...u juz dunno wad im tinking, i juz coundnt tok 2 u at all! all u tink was ive been pampered! haf u ever care when im really sick! im tired! i haf cancer, i haf disease dat coundnt b cured, i dared nt even go 4 a check up! im getting weaker n i dunno y! in moi hart i tell moiself died den died i dun care! the truth is dat im scared, im afraid, i cant live long! i dare not face the truth! u din even ask am i oki! use moi name n buy a hse! did u eva seek 4 moi permission b4 doin? so wad if i really want a new hse...a new life? uve decided everyting oleadi wad! anywae, ytd ish our anniversary dae but where r u? in her arms? i juz wanna xpect a call 4 u...im feeling so down...everyting i do ish juz not rite, went 2 bugis den spend money on catching a mickey 4 u...den went 4 supper...the rest of dem, went 2 smking after playing archade..while uncle dolp n hamham continue playing...i help 2 carry uncle dolp coffin awhile, haha...she nearly thought i wanna run way...she gt scare den tell mie nt 2 carry le...i was frustrated as i dun like 2 wat 4 pple...2 cut it short, we wait 4 hamham for 4 hrs...uncle dolp model oso...we went 2 funan 1st, coz uncle dolp gt exam...den she was late...after it was done...she wanna cut her hair...we getting angrier...n 11 pple was waiting 4 her...wad the hell...all of us was hungry at dat point of time oleadi...i miss her badly...feeling so sleepy n tired nw...yawnsss...i wanna hold her tightly in moi arms, i coundnt animore...goin mit qi lata...gurl guess u r still slping so soundly nw...u'll nv noe hw i feel n u do not 1 2 noe...

2dae's quote: whats joy without you

written by: wan si on [2/6/08] {wed} @11.34am

~wO zhen de heN xianG ni!~

2008-06-29T04:07:00.000-07:00

Sunday 29th June 2008

went 2 chruch 4 service...after dat went 2 a new stall try out the duck mee...eat wif moi 4 cell frenz...took bus at parkway...wanted 2 tk 14 back de but den acc 1 of dem hm...reach hm ish oleadi 5.30pm...msg her col her but still no replies...was worry but wad 4...wanna ask her movie but den guess shes wif her nw...whole dey so sleepy dunno y, feeling weaker n weaker if onli shes here wif mie...fell alslp during the word of god...nth 2 sae, dis few entries worte abt her...feeling so sad nw again...i noe i can get up soon de...songs 4 her...o no, moi sis kip on saying gt 1 young patient gt HIV...im scared... :'(

zhou jie lun-dui bu qi

广场一枚铜币悲伤的很隐密它在许愿池里
轻轻叹息太多的我爱你让它喘不过气已经
失去意义戒指在哭泣静静躺在抽屉它所拥有的
只剩下回忆相爱还有别离像无法被安排的雨随时准备来袭
我怀念起国小的课桌椅怀念着用铅笔写日记纪录
哪最原始的美丽纪录第一次遇见的你
如果我遇见你是一场悲剧我想我这辈子注定一个人演戏
最后再一个人慢慢的回忆没有了过去
我将往事抽离如果我遇见你是一场悲剧
我可以让生命就这样毫无意义
或者最后能听到你一句轻轻的叹息后悔着对不起

part 2:
went 4 dinner again at 7+ wait till 8.45pm den cum...coz 2molo mums bdaeden dad treat...juz eat den eat again, gonna go fat again...miss her so much nw...nw feeling giddy n tired...guess i juz weak..if onli u r in moi arms, afterall i still haf 2 xcept dat u r gone...

2dae's quote: god save us from darkness

Written By: Wan Si on [29/6/08] {Sun} @7.26pm

~tinGs chaNged s0 dO i!~

2008-06-28T00:55:00.000-07:00

Saturday 28th June 2008

slp for 4 hrs...i was deeply hurt when i @@ ur blog juz nw...i gif u moi blessing as long as u r happy...quarrel wif parents...nv noe dat i shout until so loud...wanna cut moiself bang moi head...but i thought of u, the promises i gif u...i cant do anything silly but 2 control moiself...im indeed v.sad...when i close moi eyes i thought of u, where r u, wad u doin wif her, moi tears drop...moi hart shattered, when the msg u send, moi heart aches immediately...songs u listening 2 i cant control moi tears, y muz i pestered u...nw i come 2 tink of it, im onli a firlt, i cant make u stay even ur hart is not wif mie...i'll still wait 4 ur return if u r mine, u'll return...oh no, moi hp bills gonna burst too..2dae is sat, but nw u r in her arms n not mine anymore...only she can make u smile but not mie? dis song ish specially 4 u...tired till i dunno hw 2 move on anymore! can time really heal moi wounds?

2dae's quote: letting you go is the best solution

Written By: Wan si on [28/6/08] {sat} @4.05pm

~daRknesS!~

2008-06-26T21:56:00.000-07:00

Friday 27th June 2008

2dae if im nt wrong is ur bdae? happy bade! but den nvm, i haf oleadi given up on u i guess since she came into moi life...nw dat she leave mie is oso the same...i haf put all the tings aside nw or shall i sae a stop 2 everything...i woundnt 1 2 care abt anything else u should b happy bah

u should b happy wif ur life nw...everyting u sae broke moi hart deeply...is as if im telling u lies...use dat tone 2 tok, msg mie...i was drunk on dat previous nite coz i dun wish 2 go hm...10z uncle dolp, pat, hamham...4 acc mie dat nite...do u noe y i dun wish 2 go hm...? u dun! u 1 me f***king go get a new life...moi hart aches immediately..send u msg , call u, 3g u, u juz simply dun gif a damn, ya i noe im irritating...u woudnt blieve mie ive haf oleadi treat u as a fren nw, realli, coz if dis is wad u 1 i can do it...i nv noe dat im like dat 2 u...im toking 2 u nicely as a fren too oki? dun worry...dis 5 daes, i ask moiself wad do i love u in u? do i love u dat much? yes i do, love eveything of u...yah, we grow u wif a strong nid 4 love, can we eva fulfill it? the ans is no...no 1 can...at least we tried...i noe i cant sae much...or tok senses...is as if i noe love dat much...though i still love u, promise u, u 1 mie 2 cut moiself infront of u den u happy iszit..? i noe im foolish...silly...r u really worth? yesh...i wanna mit u as a fren, but u dun...i miss everything of u...can the rain swept away the pains n tears? wadeva u 1 do, i shall not care anymore, happy? i gif u everything, gif u moi love, though moi love cant b strong as god, den u juz let everything go...let everything erase out of ur mind...y! y! y!

2dae's quote: are you willing to take her as ur legal wedded wife for life? yes, i do!!!

written by: wan si on [27/6/08] {fri} @2.51pm

~u r Gone!~

2008-06-23T21:29:00.000-07:00

Tuesday 24th June 2008

wake up wifout seeing ur msgs, can no longer call u wad i used 2 call...u ask mie 2 4get abt u...mayb u can 4get mie 4get the times...sumtings r mend 2 4gotten, n nv look back? if u hurt mie i wouldnt 1 2 back wif u...but nw everyting is over...i force moiself 2 eat...nearly throw up...wanna tell u i really i gt sum sickness...buts wads the use? u onli noe hw 2 sae dun look back...dun tink 2 much...moi heart is totally shattered...everyting juz went into darkness...trying 2 cheer up...but do u tink i really can..im sleepy but i was awake again coz i scare 2 close moi eyes...im juz like a com totally freeze...shut down...nw im afraid of the dark...nvm im juz a burden 2 u...memories are juz memories nw...u wouldn 1 2 noe hw i feel nw...im dizzy...u woundnt cry, woundnt feel sad or anyting, i die le u oso wont bother rite? im nt emoing...u juz woundnt tink of mie, woundnt miss mie...coz im nt the 1...listening 2 the song kong qua nw on the fm...im missing u deeply...moi tears flow again...i dunno y...nw u r outside wif dem...but im at hm alone...i nid u u dun nid mie...i can sae nothing...u haf ur life i shoudnt interfior...missing u deeply again...cant hold onto u animore

我会想念你，一直想着你
拥有你，虽然只是一段很短的日子，但已足以让我感觉温暖和快乐，
那种感觉是无法形容的，感觉你贴近我，感觉你的呼吸，你的心跳，
是多么的美好。。。但，世事不如人意，虽然难舍但还是必须作决定。。。但那是我一生都不会忘记的回忆，你是特别的。。。
我爱你！

2dae's quote: deeply in love and falling back to the hole

written by: wan si on [24/6/08] {tue} @12.43pm

~im huRt!~

2008-06-22T21:00:00.000-07:00

Monday 23rd June 2008

i realli love the nite spend wif u ytd..when u send mie out the sentence im realli hurt...but i cant do aniting...wifout u i realli dunno wad 2 do...no replies frm u no calls the whole morning...i can onli love u frm the inside...i juz wanna let u noe hw i feel...u r moi onli 1...which i juz wanna share the joy or unhappiness wif u...no matter hw much u haf hurt mie i still love u deeply...i can @@ dat u r unhappy been wif mie all dis while...im nt a gd gf...while writing dis post, moi tears r flowing down...im so worried abt u nw...haf u eaten ur lunch? muz eat k, if nt u gt gastric again...i juz want 2 put all moi care onto u but i failed...i nv been like dis b4 until u came n u left, all the memories r juz u n mie...i nv once understand ur feeling...im blessed n happy 2 haf u...really am...i still waiting 4 ur replies...i remembered wad i promise u...i will nv go slit moi hand again...no matter hw hurt am i...if u @@ dis post, i juz wanna let u noe...u r moi precious moi everyting...love every moments spend wif u...i dun care wad others sae, i dun care if u juz like mie...or so...u r moi ger nw...i cant promise i will tk care of u 4 the rest of moi life...as long as i live i'll b dere 4 u...whether u 1 2 blieve is up 2 u...im willing 2 sacrifice is all i can tink of...put down moi pride...shout out dat u r moi onli 1 all over the world! sobsssss...kiss mie gdbye

part 2:

u initate the break up, at 8pm...dis is the 2nd time...i realli cant tk it...unwilling 2 @@ u been sad wif mie...but haf 2 let u go...i haf 2 respect ur decision...i feel dat im so useless...i haf put all moi love into u, given up everyting n juz 1 sentence, i haf 2 let u go...y...i noe cant b force...nw dat u are gone, i cant promise u i can move on...if u tink i can, is all fake...im sorrie dat i haf enter into ur life, tk away ur freedom...moi mind is blank!

2dae's quote: im speechless

written by: wan si on [23/6/08] {mon} @12.21pm and @10.40pm

~eMpty!~

2008-06-20T05:25:00.001-07:00

Friday 20th June 2008

juz 1 dae onli, seem u r far away frm mie gurl...i miss u so much nw...wish i could see u n hug u rite nw...wifout ur sms wifout ur call...i nid u rite nw...i miss ur everyting...u r outside nw n im at hm tinking of u...wish u could haf the same feeling too...haiz...i haben eat yet...nt realli feeling well the whole dae...faster call mie msg mie...sobsss...feeling so helplessly nw...o yah, another ting ish im getting sick n tired of dis family...if onli i could haf lotsa of money, but of coz money haf 2 earn yah not lazing ard...gotta get out of dis hse! wads the point of staying at hm, juz like a jailbird, like a hotel like dat...quarrelling n quarrelling not sick n tired arh! sumhw feel like giving up on moiself! i @@ no point in reviving dis family anymore!

2dae's quote: living in a world of hell

Written By: Wan Si on [20/6/08] {fri} @ 8.45pm

~gOin cRazy oveR u!~

2008-06-16T00:13:00.000-07:00

Monday 16th June 2008

gosh, moi hair turning blonde again...sobzzzz...who ask mie like 2 bleached n played wif ash colour so much...haiz...missing u deeply nw...guessed im happy enuff 2 haf u by moi side...im blessed 2 haf u...u left mie i was sad...i do cherish u...rem wad ive said? loved...after so many ups n downs we've been thru...so many tings happened...sumhw hw i wish dat i was not born at all...so f**cked up wif moi life...so many unhappy ting n yet 2 haf kip it 2 moiself...can sum1 juz let mie beat...throw moi tantrum at him/her...gonna go continue @@ newspaper for jobs....tata

counting the daes to ur bdae (j**)

2dae's quote: walk thru the dark and you will find light and glory

Written By: Wan Si on [16/6/08] {mon} @3.25pm

~lif3 goEs on...~

2008-06-04T05:47:00.000-07:00

Wednesday 4th June 2008

last thurs u bought mie a Babytaz which she sae she will brought it last time...wanna sae 10z...i realli love it...n u help mie tink of a name call sotong like mie...lolz...dun worry i will look after it...was tinking dat wad if i realli die, will any1 cry 4 mie? no! even moi heart is bleeding, even i gt sickness, no1 will eva bother abt mie...o yah, wind though im not dere 2 support u 4 2molo contest, im sure u can make it! *cambateh*...in moi hart, u r num 1! whahaa!
if onli she (j**) noe hw much i mish her n nid her in moi life...cant find waes 2 let her go...cant find waes 2 stop tinking of her...missing u rite nw...wish i can go dere juz 2 @@ u, even juz for a sec...i dun mind if im juz a fren...i noe dat u dun wanna get hurt anymore...i noe wad i 1 nw finally...b4 i knew i'm deeply in luv wif u, songs remind mie of u...i dunno wad moi life will b wifout u

用一颗心来感觉你的爱
只希望你能明白
我的心中也只有你
我也只想要保护你
从第一天起我就爱上你
因为你真的很贴心你的笑容
在我心里我现在唱这一首歌给你
我要跟你手牵手永远不回头
一起勇敢向前走如果有什么波折
有我的胸口紧紧贴在你左右
一直握着你的手永远不回头
因为你是我的梦永不放弃
因为爱你若你是星星
我是你的天空
当你在我心中
微笑一直在我的脸孔
默默在你心中
我也会有一点感动
我知道我最爱你
永不放弃因为有你在我的心里
你和我不分离
我要跟你手牵手永远不回头一起勇敢向前走
如果有什么波折有我的胸口紧紧贴在你左右
一直握着你的手永远不回头
因为你是我的梦永不放弃
因为爱你若你是星星我是你的天空

2dae's quote: you are the reason i live for, noone can ever take you away

Written By: Wan Si on [4/6/08] {wed} @9.15pm

~Im sOrry!~

2008-06-01T20:35:00.000-07:00

Monday 2nd June 2008

im sorrie is all i can sae...i noe ive hurt u alot...hope u understand y i choose 2 let u go...im juz a firlt as wad dey sae...i can gif u nth...but owaes gif u sadness instead...i dun 1 2 hurt u further...i cant b selfish 2 hold onto u animore. gif up on mie...im useless...deres no point in holding onto a no feeling hart...rite? i dunno wad am im doin...dun even understand moiself...im nt worth...

2dae's quote: live life to the happiness

Written by: Wan Si on [2/6/08] @11.46am

~feeLing bitteR!!~

2008-05-27T02:00:00.000-07:00

Tuesday 27th May 2008

everyting has cum 2 a stop. i had enuff! i try 2 get ur attention! i even kneel down in the bathrm! i try moi waes 2 tok 2 u! but guess we can nv tok tings out! neber! dis 23 yrs of moi life, do u realli spare a thought of moi feeling! oki i dun sae feeling, i haf try 2 change moi temper but u? even i sick, u juz shouted at mie! u dun even bother 2 ask if im oki? no! every1 has a limit! dis few daes i cried bcoz of wad! wish i could juz get out of dis hse! dad u 1 2 drive mie crazy den u happi iszit! im oleadi sad! do u noe wad i 1! no u dun! plz dun push mie 2 far! u 1 mie 2 end up in the hospital? u sae all u did is 4 moi best, 4 moi gd! y cant u care! wads col love? i dunno anymore! wads r frenz 4? moi mind juz went blank totally! even i nid ur love, but all of u juz like dissapear into the air! nothing seems impt 2 mie anymore! do u understand mie! no! so wad if u r the man n had the priority in dis hse! u dun haf the rite 2 haf the sae oki! i dun fucking gif a damn on dis family anymore! dun fucking care of anything! do u tink i want 2 live moi life juz like dat everydae! i hate it! nothing can turn back anymore! im nothing 2 u! yah u all love mie! moi disability is u! stopped the fucking attitute dad! cant u eva use a proper tone 2 tok 2 us! u 1 us 2 respect u, ans u! But, do u respect us in the 1st place? haf u? no!

every1 can dun blieve mie! but y u! u sae u blieve mie! is it true? (dolp), i nid u! juz like moi drug! but u dun care abt mie! fren, Why am I afraid to lose you when you're not even mine... i wanna go nearer 2 u...i wanna tok 2 u...wanna hug u...juz nw tok 2 u in msn juz the 2 mins im happy enuff...but den sth stopped mie frm goin nearer 2 u...(j**), i try every wae 2 let u @@ so as of hoping i can get close 2 u...loving u in moi hart...simply cant move on wifout u I love you with joy,with pain. I love you with hate,with heart. I love you with tears,with laughter. I love you with all i have within me. I miss you! ou don't have any idea, how often a song, a joke, or laughter, tears, or memories remind me of you.

no change! the impt pple in moi life: special u (z**), onli u can melt moi hart (g), if onli u willing 2 let mie tk care of u 4 the rest of ur life (j**)

*waiting* (J)

2dae's quote: Moving on is simple,it's what you leave behind that makes it so difficult. My heart longs for you, my soul dies for you, my eyes cry for you, my empty arms reach out for you.

Written By: Wan Si on [27/5/08] {Tue} @ 6.05pm

~WisH 2 @@ u~

2008-05-20T04:38:00.000-07:00

Tuesday 20th May 2008

it's goin 2 b 1 mth...no news frm any job interviews...hais, am i sure a failure? been overnite wif dar n frenz frm sun to ytd morning...8am...so tired...had a fall during the cycling rite dat nite at ecp...dan help mie 2 @@ the fate on the poker cards...is quite true...mayb im not worth 4 u dar...im sorrie, i do not love u..i've hurt u...but u should noe wads the reason n y...im confused...is time realli wad i nid nw?

nw the person i wish 2 @@ nw...a fren hu is at ecp blading...im v.worried...u ask mie wanna @@ u..yesh, i 1. i dunno y...(uncle dolp) n gurl (j**)..can u gif mie a reply or sth? i noe u r trying 2 avoid mie....i cant sae im waiting 4 u...as long as u gif mie a reply....liking u frm inside of moi heart...counting the daes 2 ur bdae...

2dae's quote:"The shortest word I know is 'I', the sweetest word I know is 'love', and the one I'll never forget is 'you'

Written By: Wan Si
[20/5/08] {Tue} @8pm

~faiLed!~

2008-05-16T04:54:00.000-07:00

Friday 16th May 2008

haiz, failed moi BTT again! im sad! i did study! sumtimes y am i tinking so foolishly...y is the luck not wif me...haha...uncle dolp u still coughing muz tk gd care oki...im worried 4 u...feeling headache nwades...watching tv nw...tata...nt in the mood 2 continue...missing her...waiting 4 her sms...if onli she miss me too...sobzzzzzz...
the song im feeling nw:

chen xiao dong: yi lai yi zui

周初晨冰碎都早化暖的水恐懼
深宵你在那裡明白懷疑是一種判罪
但電話筒裡是誰語態心虛*心碎不肯吻這張咀相聚
亦成為你負累持續懷疑令身心太累
或是一轉眼便陪我對不對平淡像冷水
內心卻在放雷預測某夜你決定要築起圍牆拮據如同掉廢墟
問可有辦法去留存堡壘害怕中睡去
碎作一堆躲到危牆下失據我願盡全力爭取
無奈你不斷將我推苦心如流水心愛霓裳被剪碎
你漠視人掉眼淚\寧願午睡在一片野麥堆
*看不清你在想誰Repeat *橫豎心早敲碎和誰又相對
秘密情人局外有誰難被你選擇怎去追
苦心被告吹假設懸崖墮出去
也是項無聲狀舉情歷興衰
任思緒繼續吹如像我易來易碎

a dae wifout u wad will it b? (uncle dolp...hehe)
y u treat mie so cold all of a sudden? (j**)

*waiting* (j)

2dae's quote: great spirit lead a better and simple life

Written By: Wan Si
[16/5/08] {Fri} @8.58pm

~wheRe doeS dat feeLing gOne 2?~

2008-05-12T22:07:00.001-07:00

Tuesday 13th May 2008

u all may wonder y am i nt wrking nw. so slack. nth 2 do. so gd. is dis wad i 1. i dunno wad am i doin? im still the same old mie. can i eva trust love again? i try 2 get up once again...standing on. holding on...i failed! wad do i 1 in life? no ans 2 it? im still searching...when can i stop searching n get a stable job? im really hurt! i noe dat crying wont stoped the pains...crying can neber change aniting. i cant control anymore! yesh! i can no longer understand dis family. we can nv communicate. few daes back i cut moiself coz of dad. i realli cannot tk it! juz when i thought everyting is over i found u..(uncle dolp...whaha)

happy 2 b wif u...ytd 10z 4 acc me (uncle dolp...whaha)
where haf u been? (j**)

the onli special ones in moi hart: (z) n (g)

im soorie 2 b so cruel, so heartless, so mean, i may b firlt...if dis is the onli wae of letting u go
i dunno wad is happening 2 mie. mayb i juz 1 2 feel loved n sum1 2 feel moi emptiness...im not worthy 4 u...

it's been 6 mths ...........
If I’d never met you, I wouldn’t feel the pain
Of losing your sweet love; I wouldn’t feel insane.
But if I’d never met you, I wouldn’t know the pleasure Of ecstasy’s warm gifts
And memories to treasure.
Now moving on with life,
I force a wistful grin,
Questioning what went wrong
And wondering what might have been.

dun b sad oleadi...kkz? the beautiful smile u once showed can b back, really (c)

*waiting* (J)

2dae's quote: From the corner of my eye, i see a glimpse of you.

Written By: Wan Si
[13/5/08] {Tue] @ 1.50pm

~missEs!~

2008-05-04T08:08:00.000-07:00

Sunday 3rd May 2008

i found sum words which is meaningful in sum1's blog, here it goes......

The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else. (c)

Life goes through changes so fast, until you think you found someone you truly love, only to figure out, she doesn't love you back. You cry and cry and cry, but nothing changes. (z)

You realize that you must accept things for what they are, and what they have made you become.

Everything in life changes you in some way. Even the smallest things. If you do not accept these changes, you do not accept yourself. You only live your life once. Do not waste a minute of it avoiding things. Let them come to you, and learn from them. 'Cos there's always tomorrow.

2dae's quote: god gave us a love which no one can ever give

Written By: Wan Si
[3/5/08] {Sun} @11.26pm

~a wOnderful daE?~

2008-05-02T08:19:00.000-07:00

Friday 2nd May 2008

wow soooo longggg neber blog le...kind of lazy...keke...cut moi hair ytd + touch up everyting...so x lo...sobz sobx $70...on moi goshhh...the colour onli 2 daes goin 2 fade again...so fast...moi feelings 4 cyan in colour has finally gone...was a short blog again...yawnsss waiting 4 dar 2 help mie change blogskins...lazy! y y y am i so lazy...whahaha...haiz, moi relative juz passed awy

hao xiang hao yong you ni...dan shi wo bu nen
cant contact u, moi hart suddenly miss u so much (J**)
u still tinking of her, but im tinking of u...hais, i noe u wont 4get her (h)

10z dar 4 the wonderful dae ytd...

u break moi hart...i cant 4get u...wish u can find ur happiness is wad i can do nw

wo ai ni que gu yi
gu yi suo bu ai ni (z)

leaving the memories bhind me! if u still love her, patch back wif her...?
i noe u can gif her happiness wif status although i dunno y u broke up wif her

*waiting* (J)

2dae's quote: every star from above shines so brightly it means you

Written By: Wan Si
[2/5/08] {Fri} @ 11.52pm

~losT!~

2008-04-23T05:37:00.000-07:00

Wednesday 23rd April 2008

2dae supposed 2 go for training again...yet i din turn up again...but i will nv eva gif up! i'll still tk the risk! wrk nv go smoothly, probably i should haf get scolded! plz could sum1 juz wake mie up! wifout u everyting seems lost, as long as i can get 2 @@ u, im really weak nwades seriously n the scars wouldnt get away still! having breatheless again n again!

could i eva haf the nite 4 once? once remembered...(jt)

i couldnt get u out of moi mind!
wanted 2 b dere 4 u, i dun haf the courage 2 luv u animore
but y does moi hart tells mie not 2 gif up?
the dae i'll stop loving u dealy n deeply is the dae i leave dis world (j**/h)

owaes in moi mind, hart n soul (z)
bring me along when u r gone, will u, moi everyting, moi shadow?

still cant 4get u! y!

sorry 2 haf hurt u dardar

u bring mie back 2 life n tore mie apart
luv the nites spend wif u
it hurts me 2 see u dis wae
do u eva noe hw i feel, sunshine? (c)

*waiting* (j)

2dae's quote: life isnt so simple

Written By: Wan Si
[23/4/08] {Wed} @8.55pm

~i dunnO wad Is HaPpening 2 me anymOre!~

2008-04-21T05:23:00.000-07:00

sMonday 21st April 2008

i do gt the goal...n it's realistic nw...im lost totally! i noe pple haf their own probs 2! ive wrk hard! sumtimes when im upset, it shows it out...i agree dat ive bring it out! but i've had tried moi best! ive tried! really am! in dis 3 jobs in dis same line! im slow, careless! but y does every1 sees in mie dat im juz live as each dae goes? y! im 23! does not haf anyting! but sumtimes i juz hide it coz i dun 1 ani! 2 worry! but indeed ive hurt moiself instead! in wadeva i do! juz wad the hell am i doin! father in heaven, plz let mie get thru can? onli u noe mie the best! 10z god! crying wad the use! yah! not every1 gt the chance 2 haf find a nice job! i luv dis job i do! sobzzzzzzzzzz.....teebee oso spoilt! arghhh!

im happy dat u r back wif her? am i (c)

dardar, 10z 4 been dere once again...sorry dat im nt a gd gf...

hws haf u been? if onli u r bside mie (z)

2 more mths n 2 daes n it's bdae (j**),lublublub!

10z 4 those sweet n bad times, those were onli b memories...wish i could 4get u but i couldnt

*waiting* (J)

jiu shuan wo dui ni suo wo you duo ai ni
ni hai yi yang de dui wo de nen mo (c)
jiu shuan wo yao duo nan guo
ni hai hui dui wo suo jia you ma? (z)
ji shuan wo dui ni fu zu le duo shao
liu le duo shao de yan lei
ni hai shi you yuan ye bu hui dong (j**)

2dae's quote: my strength and that is you! every drop of tears shows how much i love you!

Written By: Wan Si
[21/4/08] {Mon} @ 9.05pm

~anGry n sAd!~

2008-04-16T07:30:00.000-07:00

l.*Wednesday 16th April 2008

i noe im foolish 2 slit moi hand...2 dat person, u hear the other side of the sorry, so wad if u nv treat mie as ur gf b4, i dun f*ucking care...i haf tolerate enuff since the beginning...if u dun blieve is up 2 u! mie n her ting...plz dun anyhw sae...i still haf moi pride haf moi anger...if u still 1 2 continue dis kind of attitude, jolly well i'll too...im not 1 let u sae or do wad u 1...im not the type of person! i tink should b the other wae round! plz tink b4 u speak! run tian-wish u could call me everynite 2 sing wif mie...moi dear x even u though i dun haf a stand in ur hart..bye lah, damn angry wif moi father nw...n in the mood 2 watch moi fav show

tings i 1:
1) 2 b wif u
2) wallet n the branclet (dar u noe hor..keke)
3) get moi driving asap
4) further studies/laptop
5) moi tazmania/doraemon/eeyore
7) a pair of new jeans n 3/4 pants n 3/4 sleeve or long sleeve
6) a white blazer

plz tk care of urself ger im worried, really am (c)
i''ll still here 4 u

2dae's quote: what will life be without god?

Written By: Wan Si
[16/4/08] {Wed} @ 10.56pm

~if Only sorRy can heaL!~

2008-04-12T20:59:00.000-07:00

Sunday 13th April 2008

different colours stand 4 different pple,
if u scroll down 2 previous blog, u'll noe
yawnz im sooo sleepy still, head so pain...having slight fever...wakeup 2 eat the gastric medicine muz tk...cannot dun tk...haf 2 @@ doc in 3 weeks time again...juz awake still feel like sleeping...like pig hor...hehe...nw eating maggie again...din manage 2 go chruch again...coz i was tinking when the time im ready, i still cant make it for 1 pm last service coz i've oleadi miss the bus...so nv go..yeah i've change moi BTT date 2 earlier date...it's been 5 yrs since i last took BTT dats means...i failed times n times? *bleah*

if onli sorry can cure the wounds u gif, the promises u once gave mie, u bring 2 life but u tore mie apart...u noe hw much u haf hurt mie? u n ur love is happy nw, but wad abt mie? invisible? is dis the ans u wanna gif mie all along? from the start? (c)

spend moi whole week wif darling...hehe...10z 4 been wif me n tolerate mie n moi nonsense...(Bb)

wei se me wo zui ai de ren yao ze yang shang hai zhi ji nen? wo xin hao tong (z)

cant 4get the 1st nite i've met u...smking n toking 2 mie...the wae i look at into ur eyes when the nite u call mie out...nv again (JT)

wo xiang wo shi zhen de hen xiang ni,ai ni, hen xiang qu zhao ni, hao xiang kan dao ni, ke shi ni cong bu zhi dao wo jiu zai ni shen bian ( j**/h)

hw haf been? haf u cum back 2 sg? guess u haf oleadi 4gotten abt mie but love her deeply (u)

*waiting* (J)
missing the tkd times wif u? u can do it de ger! (e) are u 2gether wif (wk)? *wonder*

2daes' quote: letting go is the best solution

Wan si
[13/4/08] {Sun} @ 1.30pm

~waD am i SuppoSe 2 dO?~

2008-03-29T03:53:00.001-07:00

Saturday 29th March 2008

ytd was ur bdae, happy bdae!

how are u, gurl? hopefully she will love u like u do...n i noe she will

daes passed, weeks passed, my hart is missing u deeply. missing ur beautiful voice...when i juz saw ur msn nick dat u r sick, wish dat i could tk care of u n sae i do luv u...but im not urs...n nv will it be...everyting i do nv went smoothly...i cant feel anyting animore...wish i could lie on ur shoulders again...if i can fetch u frm wrk...i gonna break down soon!

is dis luv or lust? y am i tinking of u?

haf i really gotten over u? u get used over dere?

2dae's quote: if this is the only way to let you go, i will cause im not your happiness!

Written By: Wan Si
[29/3/08] {Sat} @7pm

~sum woRds 4 u~

2008-03-23T04:57:00.000-07:00

Sunday 23th March 2008

I nv noe dat i was not in ur heart all along till i saw ur profile
im sad n hurt, juz like a sharp knife killing mie deep
blood juz dashed out juz like dat
wad am i 2 u? where do i ever stand? no where!
guess everytings over
our 1 mth anni , hoping dat dae will cum soon,
but nv once in ur mind n hart,
is juz moi wiseful tinking

我該如何度過沒有你的夜
如果我必須沒有你而活下去
那會是什麼樣的人生
我需要你在我懷裡需要你的擁抱
你是我的世界、我的心、我的靈魂
如果你離去寶貝，你將帶走我生命中美好的一切
失去你，我的天空將沒有太陽
我的人生再也沒有愛我將失去全世界
寶貝，我不曉得我還能做什麼失去你，我將迷失自我
如果你離去寶貝，你將帶走我生命中真實的一切
告訴我失去你，我怎麼活下去
我想知道失去你，我怎麼呼吸
如果你真的要走我怎麼活的下去
我怎能…怎能活下去如果你離去寶貝，你將帶走我需要的一切
寶貝，因為你明白你是我生命中美好的一切

 my life 一直在等待空荡的口袋
想在里面放一份爱
why 总是被打败
真的好无奈
其实我实实在在不管美不美
想要找回来自己的节拍
所以这一次我要勇敢大声说出来
期待期待你发现我的爱无
所不在我自然而然的关怀你的存在
心灵感应的方向我一眼就看出来
是因为爱我猜你早已发现我的爱
绕几个弯越靠近越
明白不要走开幸福的开始就是放手去爱
as long as u r happy, missing u!

yah, i cried suddenly ytd nite, cry moiself 2 slp, wad am i tinking? u'll nv want 2 noe
u can go other countries, juz go...wish u will nv cum back

rite here waiting...

2dae's quote: i love you sum up everything

Written By: Wan Si
[23/3/08] {Sun} @ 8.05pm

~all aBt u~

2008-03-21T02:35:00.001-07:00

Friday 21st March 2008

qing ai de ni zai na li
wo zui ai de ni zai na li
shi bu shi wo zhen de si le ni chai gan yuan
jiu shuan wo bu zai le
ni ye bu hui li hui
wo de xin li dou bu guan le ma
wo ai ni ai dao hen lei
dan wo bu xiang fang qi ni
yin wei wo tai ai ni
wo xin hen tong ye hen nan guo
wo yi zhi tou zai yi pang bao hu ni
ke shi ni tou bu zhi dao
gao shu wo wo gai zhe mo zuo
shou shang de xin dou shi yin wei ni

2dae's quote: love you always

Written By: Wan Si
[21/3/08] {Thurs} @ 4.30pm

~juz miZ u!~

2008-03-14T10:39:00.000-07:00

Friday 14th March 2008

since u r gone, deres no smile animore
since u r gone, moi health is getting frm bad 2 worst (pain)
since u r gone, i cant @@ aniting
since u r gone, life is back 2 black n white
since u r gone, i cant feel aniting, animore
since u r gone, where's moi shadow?

where's the active mie? i can no longer do sports!
recently wish u r here 4 mie, but guess ish juz moi illusion! moi parents fought till wanna divorce, n i haf 2 tk the burden! i cried! every1 sae dat moi parents dotes on me the most? mayb the method doesnt apply on mie! ive found u! but all i can do is 2 luv u frm bhind n i cant even @@ u, care 4 u! it hurts! it moi silliness again! do i ever xsist in dis world, i wonder again...i miz u so much n i nid u back, i miz those tiny times been wif u, i miz ur voice, Bb! i realli realli do! but where r u! mayb im not worth for ur love!
tata every1, guess i tink im gonna go slp le! eyes swollen, leg swollen, bone kills mie

2dae's quote: teardrops never stop!

Written By: Wan Si
[14/3/08] {Fri}

~juZ wannA b wiF u!~

2008-03-09T04:59:00.000-07:00

Sunday 9th March 2008

im missing u deeply nw...hw i wish u r bside me nw...the feeling wifout u...im juz as dead...haf been feeling weak dis daes...slping 4 the whole dae...i dunno wad am i animore...can sum1 juz lend me her/his shoulders 2 lend on...i gt no more energy 2 carry on...y cant love b simple as i tink...? i dun 1 u 2 leave me...loving u so much...can i noe wad u r tinking? my hart ish so painful...doc cant even cure mie...seeing moi loved 1 slowly 1 by 1 gone...im really v.sad...very...im so helpless...moi own grandma will nt live 4 long...n wad am im doin here? am i goin 2 sae i dun like her 4eva? she cant even rem moi name...moi face...wheneva i tink of cny dat time, i omost cry...seeing her sitting on the wheelchair...i cant even tk care of moiself...haf been smking...till i cant breathe...nt onli u disspointed in mie...im oso dissapointed in moiself...din even go 2 chruch...seems like everyting is getting further awy frm mie...im scare dat i'll haf gastric cancer...scare i wont b able 2 @@ u...but i'll still b strong...as i rem the words u sae 2 me...wo zui ai ni le...ke shi ni nen? i cant xpect u 2 luv me...nw im having high fever...baby dont go dis song is the wae i feel 2wards u nw

2dae's quote: somewhere out there

Written By: Wan Si
[9/3/08] {Sun} @ 8.25pm

~misSinG u deEply!~

2008-03-07T07:44:00.000-08:00

Friday 7th March 2008

iszit i was nv meant 2 b urs in the 1st place...? guesss i can neber touch ur hart, enter into ur hart...im sick n tired, i really dun wish 2 gif up on u...but since u like dat sae wad can i sae? im missing u so deeply nw...im gonna go crazy soon...life is so empty wifout u...i'll thought u'll understand hw i feel 2wards u...wad am i 2 u? i nv 1 2 ask u everydae...i blieve in trusting u...i put moi hope in u..i dun wish we r juz like dat...qin ni gan shu wo, ni you ai wo ma? no matter hw much i sae, u'll still b in moi hart...i rather care more abt u rather den tk care of moiself...ish not dat i tink 2 much...i live juz coz of u...moi hand in shivering again...i juz wanna die in ur arms...wif tears flowing down, wish u will still ard...happiness lies onli in u n me 2gether

2dae's quote: my heart is aching but no 1 knows

Written By: Wan Si
[7/3/08] {Fri} @ 11.56pm

~|ove u all e Way!~

2008-03-05T07:45:00.000-08:00

Wednesday 5th March 2008

went 4 trainng 2dae, duno wad happened 2 me...a hobby, a sport which i spend 5 yrs 2 it 2 train up 2 get dis level...is not moiself 2dae...im missing u badly now...injured moi back b4 the training...i dun 1 2 survive on medicine...whole dae im gonna faint..
all i eva asking 4 is juz a msg frm u will juz do everyting...u din even wanna ans the call...am i asking 2 much? ger...mayb i shouldnt fall in love wif u...i din noe im juz a annoying person 2 u...mayb it juz moi wiseful tinking dat u really luv me...i told moiself not 2 love sum1 anymore...end up i failed once again...everyting is gone...no longer anyting is sweet 2 me...i nid u! ur kiss means everyting...do u noe? u dun! if u only love me...u r the rest of moi life...but u dun blieve me...can u eva feel moi love 2nite...? words n action means wad 2 u.
i choose 2 avoid u...dun nid 2 hide ur face awy frm me...sitting bhind her...i'll not stay back n look at u 4 the tough training...(e)
dun look at me dat wae, dun b so gentle i may fall for ur smile...(ad*******)
jt, u seems 2 happy wif ur life nw...
z, wonder hw r u?
i noe u will treasure n love her thru

2dae's quote: love the way you are

Written By: Wan Si
[5/3/08] {wed} @ 12.21am